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Posts Tagged ‘observations’

Recently we were re watching Tombstone. When somebody was itching for a gun fight Doc Holliday would say, in a very casual laid back way, “I’ll be your huckleberry”. Ominous music would play there would be a close up shot of his opponents gun hand, then a close up of doc’s eyes, and the would be ruffian would walk away. For days, possibly weeks, when anyone looks at me, including the dogs I’d say, ‘I’ll be your huckleberry’. Okay I won’t actually say it, but I’ll certainly think it even without understanding what it means. I know it’s a plant and Tom Sawyer’s friend Huckleberry Finn. But in Doc Holliday’s context I had no idea, more importantly I don’t care. But I’m thinking about it, and then thought about you. Yes you! What if you care? Don’t I owe you an explanation? No, I don’t owe you one, but because I’m a kind generous person I thought, out of the goodness of my heart I’d look it up and share my findings.

Turns out when Doctor Holliday is saying, “I’ll be your huckleberry’ what he means is, ‘I’m the man for the job’. Or, “you looking for trouble? I’ll be that trouble”.

So now you know. You are welcome.

So what else am I thinking about these days?

Driving down a two lane country highway (one direction each way) we came upon a sign which made me wonder what catastrophic event happened that this particular town decided it was necessary to use this particular wording, ‘Do not pass when opposing traffic is present’. Sure makes sense, some may say even logical. Is the usual, ‘pass with care’ to gentle? I guess so.

Public restrooms. I am 56 yrs old and have Crohns Disease I have been in my share of restrooms, yet I’ve never been able to rest in any of them. In fact they fill me with tension, apprehension and dread. We should come up with a better name.

We have noticed that in RV parks very little deters people from having a campfire. First time I noticed this I was sitting in our kitchen looking out the window just watching the pouring rain when I realized the people at the site next to us, (also in a large fifth wheel) were sitting outside in their lawn chairs in the rain. Not under their awnings, just sitting around a smoldering, smoking campfire letting the rain pour down on them. One or two were wrapped in a towel. I thought to myself, ‘freaks’. But I’ve seen it quite a few times now in different campgrounds. Why would you invest so much money, time and effort to be comfortable while camping and then sit in the rain? Could have saved a ton of money and bought a tarp and a rope and make a shelter between two trees.

Speaking of campfires. The woods are safe from me, I can have the best weather for fire the driest wood, plenty of paper and kindling and yes, lighter fluid. We even made our own fire starters. I use the tepee approach leaving plenty of gaps for air to get through and I can usually get the fire started and it lasts until the igniter fluid burns off. Takes a lot to keep it going. It is frustrating when I see people with blazing fires in a rainstorm.

Shouldn’t the word, ‘ambiguous’ have more than one meaning?

There is a car that has a safety feature that alerts when the driver’s eyes leave the road. The problem as I see it, my eyes are going to leave the road as I try to figure out why the car is making noises at me. It doesn’t sound like its a cycle that ends well.

Aspen Dental, they say they take walk ins, they don’t. If you miss your appointment by 15 minutes…forget about it and embrace the pain.

Now if you want to read more posts…I’ll be your huckleberry.

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We have been enjoying roaming the country in our 42’ fifth wheel for two seasons and heading into our third. Our Maiden Voyage in The Mothership was August of 2019, which was a month after we retired. We took three months and traveled from Pennsylvania to Southern California. In 2020 we planed to be on the road for 6 months but, you know, Covid. So we had a late start and did another 3 months. This year we plan on 5 months and we started Tuesday June 2 2021.

A few happy lesson’s I’ve learned or are reminded of while motoring across the country in THE MOTHERSHIP.

1. Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes you don’t know its happening until you are floundering around up to your neck in the brown stuff. Figure it out, deal with it and move along.

2. Mistakes happen. Some are painful, some are costly, some are both. At the end of the day they are accidents. Learn the lesson dump the guilt and keep on moving.

3. Life is both the journey and the destination. Don’t get so caught up in one you forget the other.

4. Laugh. It is okay to be upset, frustrated, angry even scared. But when you look at it in the rear view mirror. Laugh.

5. There are times when hitting the brakes gets you into more trouble, know when to tap.

6. Some roads are less traveled for a good reason and you do not have to take them.

7. The United States is really absolutely stunning.

8. Most of us want the same things out of life, we just find our own roads. Be tolerant of those traveling a different road.

9. Don’t be a know it all, it gets old fast.

11. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or offer to help others. There is a debate in the RV world about offering to help others without first being asked. For some reason straight out offering to help somebody is taken to be offensive. I don’t see how being polite and decent to fellow living creature can be taken as offensive.

12. Find the balance between butting into someone else’s business and being helpful.

13. Don’t overthink everything, it is not always complicated.

14. When things go south ask yourself, “but did it kill you?” If the answer is no you are okay, breathe. If it did well then you are checking out the dead center of town.

15. Just Breathe, laugh and hold your partners hand….take your time….well all the other crap I told you above.

16. Yup…..breathe or you will pass out get in a fiery crash and die (again with the death) so yeah…..breathe.

17. Okay done for now, I think I see someone who needs help!

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Close to 40 years ago my father was hosting a David Roth magic lecture. David was one of the biggest names in magic you have probably never heard about. In the magic world he was, legen…wait for itdary! Give the man four coins and a Mexican centavo and he would perform miracles right under your nose.

He was also the first big name performer I’ve ever seen lecture. (That I remember) I could not have been more than 10 or 12yrs old. Not only was I going to see David Roth but my father was hosting the lecture! I would get to meet and dine with the legend himself! This was a man who had been on Johnny Carson, David Letterman and a host of tv magic specials. The greats in magic called him their inspiration. I was expecting Hollywood style elite. He wrote the BIBLE of coin magic, ‘Expert Coin Magic’. David Roth did not disappoint. The lecture room at Ruby Foo’s Hotel was jam packed with magicians. Every eye focused at the banquet table in the front of the room where the master was at work.

After the lecture we dined at Montreals famous(also no longer in existence) THE Brown Derby. Now David was out of his element he was not performing and I was starting to see him for who he was. He was not a large man, he was rather meek. He blended into the world around him. He was so unassuming so…..normal. Dare I say it….even a little drab.

Years later, I was in New York City and my father took us to the famous FAO Schwartz. We walked up to the magic counter and my heart dropped into my chest. Standing there demonstrating some the most basic of magic tricks and novelty’s to the masses was none other than David Roth.

My superstar was just a regular Joe Schmo busting his hump selling toys in a toy store in order to pay the rent. My mothers words flashed through my mind like a bolt of lighting, “Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time”

But you know? David may not have cracked the main stream entertainment world yet he was still a superstar. He literally wrote THE book on coin magic. He inspired magicians around the world. When he passed away on January 14th, 2021 at the age of 68 the magic world mourned because we all knew a legend had passed, even if just one leg at a time.

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To the future, I’m certain that by the time you read this you will have read in your history books all about the year 2020, the year of our Corona.  I hope by now it has become but a footnote in your history.  The problem with history books is that the people who write them often get it wrong.  In 2020 there is an element in United States that is trying to bury history by destroying all evidence of its existence on the premise that our history promotes hatred and racism.  Rather than stop and educate they would rather destroy.  These are the very people who have not learned from the past.  I hope you don’t suffer the same fate. 

One thing that most of us agree on is 2020 sucks pond water. Not the fun pond water, but the green slime pond water.   Corona, the Covid 19 pandemic escaped China and shut down the world, (to a degree). I am not a conspiracy theorist nor an expert on viruses or politics. but I am observant and have the ability to use reason.  This pandemic while serious was met with an un-proportionate amount fear due to both the ‘news’ and social media. We have dealt with worse and not only survived, but flourished as a world.   The survival rate of Covid 19 is 99% the news skims over that little fact,  the news gives daily updates on the number of cases as it rises each day, and the number of death and often fail to make the distinction between deaths with Covid 19 and deaths from Covid 19. 

I am not sure why the news only reports daily new cases and deaths of Covid 19 and not report on fatal car crashes, drug overdoses and autocorrect disasters.  All three of which are responsible individually, for more deaths than the virus.                                                                                                                 

Again, I am not trying to downplay the disease or its impact on society.  Heck we lost my father in law to the virus, if anything my wife and I are even more diligent in washing hands, wearing masks and social distancing. We must stand strong in our fight against it while keeping things in perspective. 

We practice social distancing, meaning we remain 6 feet apart making sex interesting. We must all wear face masks.  Nothing to fancy, some wear dust masks, others a bandana, every now and again you see someone in a surgical mask.  Others opt for the ole’ ‘wrap a sock’ around the face technique. One person was photographed in Walmart wearing scuba gear.  Masks are quickly becoming a fashion statement .  However a great many don’t understand the nature of the mask. Some don’t bother with the inclusion of the nose. Some cover their chin, while others leave the mask to hang off one ear, the other half just flapping in the wind.  I suppose this last technique is akin to those who insist on pulling their jeans up just past their knees.  Yes there is one in every crowd.

There is also confusion as to where and when to wear a mask and social distance. Some places you must self quarantine at home, other places you cannot gather in groups of 10 or more, others its 25.  The virus obviously has a moral compass. Its okay to gather in the hundreds of thousands if you are rioting or protesting for racial injustice. Again the rule of thumb is, ‘better to destroy than educate’ or for that matter take responsibility.  In those situations the virus will not spread.  Even our fearless leaders who impose the mask laws understand this.   They will stand on their soap box every day and tell us we will be punished if we don’t wear the mask.  We are irresponsible if we don’t social distance.  Yet these same leaders are seen mask-less arm in arm leading the protests of thousands en mass.  Yes Gov Wolf of Pennsylvania we all saw you.  Good thing the virus knows only to attack at small family gatherings.

Another refuge from the virus are the large box stores such as Lowes, Walmart, Best Buy.  These multi billion dollar industries can remain open so obviously perfectly safe.  The independent retailer?  Not so, in those business the virus is free to run rampant. This is a very smart Covid.  So those business must close their doors.  Sit down restaurants were closed for sometime.  They are open now and with the openings a new aspect of the virus arises.  One must wear a mask when entering the establishment and when being seated.  But once you are seated you are safe from the virus and can remove your mask.  It is no mystery as why we cannot seem to get a handle on this virus.  We are, stupid. 

There is no way I can describe what is going on in a few paragraphs or even an entire book.  What I will leave you with is a few things I have learned along the way. 

  1. Nobody owes you anything.  You want something?  Pull up your pants, brush your teeth, learn to communicate and work for it.  Sorry, your excuses don’t fly with the rest of us. 
  2. For the love of Pete, Wash your hands.
  3. Your life matters.  If you believe in this then show respect for others because their life matters just as much as yours. 
  4. When emptying a jar make sure you know where the mouth of the jar is aiming
  5. History happened.  You can’t erase it or change it, you may as well embrace it and learn. 
  6. What I learned from statues.  In the past people not only had a greenish tinge, they were huge!
  7. Laugh whenever you can and as much as you can.
  8. Always be aware of what is really important.
  9. Be kind
  10. “Not years enough, in life so short,   to learn a craft so long,**           whose effort’s hard, whose winning hurts, whose painful joys slides snakily off – by all this I mean Love, whose working wonderful astonishes my senses, So painful indeed, that when I think on it,I know not whether I float, or fall.  {Geoffrey Chaucer}

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One Regret

The day was hot and overcast. I was sitting in the car outside the grocery store while my lovely wife Denyce ran in to grab a few items. Coming out of the grocery store I noticed a young man of about 18 yrs of age. What peeked my interest was his pants which were secured around his thighs. I was thankful he was wearing boxers. I could not look away it was like watching an accident about to happen. He gathered his four or five bags from the cart and started to walk to the parking lot he made it about 5 steps. I watched as he settled his bags around his feet and pulled up his pants with care, not all the way up just high enough to fit snuggly under his butt, he lifted his sunglasses off his nose, presumably to look for his car. Dropping his glasses back onto his nose he re-gathered his bags and started off in the direction he was looking. The young lad took about a dozen more steps. Stopped settled his bags around his feet and once again hitched up his pants, this time adjusting the belt making them tighter against his thighs. I guess it is okay for him to expose his crotch and butt but God forbid anyone sees his knees! As he gathered his bags and once again set out on his journey I am really regretting I didn’t honk my horn as he passed in front of the car.

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I don’t eat blue food.

My dog begs and does tricks for a chunk of cheddar cheese every morning.  She won’t touch it at night because it is morning cheese.

                I like rainy days, but I hate being in the rain.

Sequoia will not tolerate anyone blowing on her, yet she gets in the car and all she wants to do is stick her face out the window nose to the wind.  As a responsible pet owner, I beg you only to do this at slow speeds, it is not funny when dogs get hit in the head with flying rocks.

                I don’t eat organ meat of any sort

We purchased some knuckle bones for Sequoia, she would not even lick at them until we covered them in BBQ sauce and put them on the grill.

                I won’t eat spaghetti in public.

Sequoia will go into Petco and beg for treats, (and get them from the staff) yet if we purchase any of those treats and bring them home she won’t eat them.  It does not matter that she loved them in the store because those are Petco treats.

                When I moved to Pennsylvania I brought along my cat Kaliban.  She passed away a few years ago but I think of her often.

If you say ‘Kaliban’ in Sequoia’s presence she throws her head back and howls I like to think that Sequoia is also missing Kaliban and is singing to her.

                I may be hairy

Sequoia is a hairy beast.

                I’m lazy and sedentary

Sequoia, very un-husky like is also quite sedentary.  She does not destroy the furniture; she has every toy we have ever given her.  Every morning just before I open her door, I say, quite loudly, “Release the Kraken” almost every morning she comes out stretching and yawning, makes it about two steps past her door and lays down again.

                While I spent most of my life demonstrating magic tricks, I don’t like to be the center of attention.

When Sequoia enters a room, she makes sure everyone knows she is in the building.

                I’m not overly fond of people.

Sequoia positively hates other dogs, they are the enemy!  However, every Friday in August at 6pm, Wiscoy has its annual Ice cream social for dogs. She spends a great deal of time growling at the other dogs, yet she loves the event.

                I don’t like ketchup

We like to call Sequoia our Sequoiamatic, give her a plate and she will clean it like new that is unless there is ketchup, she thinks it is evil.

                I’m possessive

 Sequoia doesn’t like other animals touching her stuff of course ‘her stuff’ is everything in her line of sight. 

               I’ve heard it said that pets and their owners rub off on one another. 

I believe this to be true, all my clothes are covered in Husky hair.

                I snore on occasion.

Sequoia is a snoring fool.

                 Everybody who comes in contact with Sequoia always tells me how beautiful she is.

Never has anybody told Sequoia how beautiful I am.

                 My wife tells me that sometimes I don’t listen.

If you don’t have food, Sequoia is not the best listener either.

                Sometimes Sequoia doesn’t know when to stop whining.

Sometimes I don’t know when to stop typing.

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I enjoy words.  How words mean something.  How hard they are to take back.  The impression they make on people.  The impression you make on people using your words.  Often one hears the expression, ‘Actions speak louder than words’ the problem is there is usually more words than action (which says something in and of itself) but often times words are all a person has to judge by.

Here are some interesting words or expressions I have come across since moving to Central Pennsylvania.  I’m not saying that they are exclusive to Central Pa or even originated here.  I’m saying that this is where I’ve heard them.  Don’t judge my spelling I’m sounding them out so if you are reading them out loud the pronunciations should be correct.  My spell check is going to have a cow!

REDUP:

 A co-worker at the bank said to me, “I’ve got things to do, I really have to redup”

“Excuse me?” I said.

 “I’ve got things to do” She replied. 

“No, I understood that, it is the other part.”

“Redup?”

“That would be the part”

Redup equals get ready.

Yes, that day I hugged my Canadian citizenship.

LEFT:

Left, what is so odd about the word ‘left’?  Well, try this on for size;

“I caught a rabbit, but I left it go.”

GUYSES:

“Excuse me, I found this, does it belong to one of your guyses?”

BORROWED:

Nice normal word, usually.

“He didn’t have a drill, so I borrowed him mine.” 

Yes, I still cling to my Canadian citizenship, eh.

Heard this on the local news:

A tanker truck turned over, the newscaster looked into the camera and said: “Hazmat has been called because the roads are very slippy.”

Youins:

Texas has ya’ll but we have Youins.

Anyway I have a busy night. I have to left the dog out but I have to be careful because the driveway is awful slippy and I borrowed my flashlight to my neighbour.   I hope youins is enjoying my blog, but now I gotta go and redup.  Oh I found a set of keys the other day, does it belong to any of you guyses?

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This is an addition to Things I Actually Like.  I decided to add to this list because somehow I hurt my hip, not a big deal, it’s not like the majority of my job is bending or lifting, or reaching oh wait, add counting and that is pretty much my job.  In any case when you have pain everything is more annoying than usual.  I don’t count my crohn’s as pain, okay I do but that is normal everyday, not out of the ordinary.  My point is that a little positivity doesn’t hurt…much.  And this excludes the obvious such as friends and family.

1.  I love it when my eyes open at four in the morning and realize I am heading into Sunday and not Monday.

2. I love it when I wake up feeling no pain.  On the odd occasion that does happen, first I have to convince myself that I am really awake, and once I’ve established that I am awake I have to establish the fact that I am alive.  However once I establish that I’m indeed awake, pain-free and alive and it is Saturday or Sunday it feels pretty darn good…makes it even better if there is a possibility of sex. (especially the one in the winter).

3. I love it when my wife says something funny and it takes me a moment to get it.  Like just this moment for example, the dog was begging for candy but we were not sure where the candy was so my wife says to the dog, “One second Sequoia and I’ll find your candy”  No, it is not candy for dogs, it is candy for people, for us, but suddenly it has become the dogs candy. It took me a minute to realize what my wife said.  Of course the candy is not enough, now the dog is licking what is left of my wife’s popsicle.  No, the dog is not spoiled.

4.  A job done well. Okay that just seems like something you are supposed to say.  I guess it depends on the job.  Sometimes I honestly don’t care. 

5. I love it when I get to ‘5’ on a list like this and can’t think of anything else to add to the list.

6. I love sarcasm, (see number 5)

7. I love the fall, and I love getting the leaves off my lawn before my anal retentive neighbour gets his cleared off,  (a rare occasion)  I once had a competition with one of the technicians I work with, we were competing to see who could mow the lawn the least.  I won, hands down.  

8. I love people who use the word ‘ignorant’ wrong.  Such as, “That guy was rude to me, how ignorant!”  I’m not sure why it amuses me, it just does.

9. I love when a meal is so good I get saddened when it starts to noticeably disappear from my plate.

10. I love when my dog is so content she rolls over onto her back, paws in the air and starts to snore.

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My grandmother liked tell the story of the first time she saw an automobile.  She was young and living in England  and somebody came down her street in a horseless carriage.  Everyone got to go for a ride, when her turn came it scared her, how could it possibly be moving on its own? So she jumped off.  To my knowledge she never did learn to drive.  I always envied that particular generation.  Imagine having lived before the advent of the automobile.  Then seeing the first ones, and living well into the next century.  I thought never again will the world see such an amazing transformation. 

So the other night my wife and I were lying in bed reading electronic books on our ipods…

The other day I was telling a story to one of my co-workers and had to stop in the middle and explain that at the time there were no cell phones.  A few minutes later I had to explain that there were no computers either. 

Sometimes I feel old. Is this how my grandmother felt , what of her grandmother? 

And what will my grand nephews and nieces see?

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It is the end of June and for the life of me I don’t know where the summer went.  It seems like I just posted my 60th post, and here I am ten posts later, The season is simply moving much to quickly.

The following are some random thoughts on my writing experience.

Since my 60th post I have started to write ideas down. I have yet to use one idea I’ve actually written down, but I will continue the excercise because one idea leads to another.

I’ve found that the blogging community is quite giving, recently I’ve had two people give me a ‘shout out’ so to speak.   Jeeney who found me through my sisters blog had some very nice things to say and writes on some very interesting topics.  Also this guy in Chicago, picked up my Technology blog and thought it worth re-posting.  He is a mac tech guy and has some interesting tricks and tips on his page.  Both of these ‘shout outs’ has gained me a few new viewers.  I have to admit I do not read a lot of other people’s blogs although I am going to start.  I do follow the ones to the right of this post and I hope for that list to grow.

As I’ve stated before I’m always checking my stats, every time I turn on the computer I check them and read all the comments and it is always a thrill when somebody new comments.  It is also a big thrill when a faithful reader and good friend comments who has never commented before such as in the case with Jesse on my language post.  I’ve known Jesse for some time and he has read my blogs since I’ve started blogging so it was great to see his comment.  And of course I always love and appreciate my regular commentors.

I primarily write for myself, but I do need an audience, after all if I didn’t I would just write in a diary and lock it all away.  Of course what would end up in a diary would be a far cry from what ends up on here, but that is another story.  I was once listening to an actor who said that he acted for the love of acting. I know plenty of magicians who you have to pay NOT to perform and still they will find a way.  I understand it, I’m not sure I can explain it all in a few words, but I can certainly understand the feeling. While I can’t say that I enjoy the writing process, I do enjoy the finished product.  That often worries me because in the end I hope to write a book, get paid, retire…you know, live the dream.  A common thread I hear from writers is that they love to write. The point being, can you act without an audience, is there satisfaction in it?  I imagine there is, there are plenty of magicians who don’t perform, same as singers I am sure.  But I imagine deep down we all want that audience. 

Training a husky, (stick with me there is a point) is not like training a lot of other dogs.  Other dogs want to please you, for a husky the first thought is always, what is in this for me.  Now when I look around I’m always thinking, hmm, how can I work that into a blog. Years ago I was walking through down town Vancouver with Greg Frewin.  Every now and again Greg would stop and take a picture of the strangest things, a lamp-post here, a mailbox there.  Finally I had to ask him what the deal was.  It turns out he viewed everything as a potential magic prop, and when something caught his eye he took a picture.  I should point out that Greg is not only a truly amazing magician he is also an extremely successful magician.  

Perhaps at 44 years old I’m finally understanding Shakespeare when he says, ‘All The World Is A Stage’

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