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Customer Service at its Finest, Not

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , , , , on December 20, 2022| 2 Comments »

There are lots of children in campgrounds. Many of which are noisy and have no respect for boundaries or/and have parents who don’t teach them not to run through other peoples campsites and the rest of us come to accept it as part of rv life . There are campgrounds that are dedicated to family life with mini golf, playgrounds, jump pads all designed with children in mind. All perfectly acceptable and you know what you are getting into when you book your site.

Many a time, when looking through our schedule Denyce and I would joke, what if it is an ‘Adult’ only, as in swingers? One never knows.

There are other options. In Blountville Tennessee, Rocky Top campground claim themselves to be a quiet, peaceful campground for adults. Nobody under the age of 18 is allowed on the premises at anytime. That is how they advertise, it’s on their literature, on the web site, in the rules even on the sign when you enter. We booked a site for a few days, then later decided to book some extra time so we could further enjoy the quiet.

First thing we noticed is that it was alongside a very well used road, lots of traffic noise so the peacefulness was not quite as advertised, but still it was nice, no screaming children. When I was setting up outside Denyce pointed out some deer in the site across from us. So yes, it was nice.

On our third day an rv pulled in right beside us with two young boys. Say what? There was nothing to keep them occupied. No play area, no jump pads, no basketball hoops, nothing nada. So they played amoung themselves. First with a bouncing ball which we had to endure. Nothing like repetitive noise. Once they got bored with the ball they did what most brothers will do. Fight. I watched as the older brother kicked the chair out from under the younger brother. So much for the peaceful adult only campground.

We decided to be one of those people and called the campground office. What I expected from the owner was, ‘I know and we are so sorry, there was nothing available in the area and we didn’t have the heart to say no. I will talk with the parents and make sure they keep the kids quiet. I remembered you booked an extra two days stay because it’s an adult only campground we will be happy to refund two days”.

I’m writing a blog about this so I’m sure you already understand that is not how the conversation went at all.

The minute my wife mentioned the children the owner went on the defensive. “It is not my fault they booked online and didn’t know it was adult only, what do you want me to do kick them out?”

“No, I don’t want you to kick them out, however we did book extra time as you adver…”

“OH MY GOD”, (talking to my wife on speaker phone), “Lady I can’t believe you are complaining about children in a campsite. It wasn’t my fault he booked online so that is out of my control, Oh My God, they booked online I didn’t let them in with children are you seriously wanting me to kick them out?”

“No we don’t want you to kick them out but you don’t have to be rude t…”

“I’m not being rude”

“Well you are yelling at us and keep repeating..”

“I’m not being rude Lady! Oh My God, they booked online I can’t believe you are having an issue with this. Do you want me to kick them out. Is that what you want?”

“Once again, I don’t want you to kick the…”

“Then what do you want me to do, it’s not my fault they booked online, OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”

“You can stop yelling at us and repeating yourself, we are not the ones who”

“I’M NOT YELLING! AND IM NOT UPSET WITH YOU! OH MY GOD! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO KICK THEM OUT? AND IM NOT YELLING, NOW YOU ARE TWISTING MY WORDS!”

At this point we realized there is no point in continuing. No doubt this guy is a bully and an asshole and has no idea how to treat customers.

“You know what?” I said, ‘forget about it, it’s all wonderfu…”

“Oh My God, it’s not my fault he didn’t know it was adult only and he booked online. What do you expect me to do about it?”

“Well since we booked more time because of you policies we would like a redu…”

“I can’t believe I have to deal with this! It’s not my fault! He booked online!”

“You can stop repeating yourself, I already said it’s all good, please have a nice day, you can stop yelling no..”

“I am not yelling! You keep twisting my words..”

Finally we got him off the phone. My lovely wife found another campground between where we were and where we were going. Only we had to wait a day for a spot to open up, which we did. Our neighbors with the children seemed nice enough but we certainly were not comfortable staying there with the asshole of an owner.

A few interesting facts. On the day we were leaving the people with the boys were leaving as well. Denyce went to talk to him because we know the owner probably told them that we complained. Denyce explained that we were not upset with him we just wanted to know what was going on.

We learned that he was local, he absolutely knew the campground was adult only. They are fostering the two boys and decided to see if they could take them camping. So they called this campground because it was close and asked if they could bring the boys and were told they could. They were leaving not because of us but because the boys were miserable as there was nothing for them to do.

Denyce always reads the reviews of the campgrounds and this one had all good reviews. After the fact she decided to use google and see maybe somewhere there were other reviews. There were. All pretty much the same. “Lovely campground but will never go back the owner is a jerk.” One reviewer said he stopped at the campground to get some propane tanks filled, (as the owner advertises as a service for a fee of course). But when this reviewer asked about it the owner was too lazy to get up and fill the tanks, the owner, “didn’t feel like it”

I typically don’t do reviews of any sort on this blog, but there is always a first. So if you ever find yourself in Blountville Tn stay away from Rocky Top Rv campground.

The entire trip we did enjoy singing that old classic;

…Rocky Top, you’ll always be my home sweet home to me Good ol’ Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee

Once two strangers climbed ol’ Rocky Top Lookin’ for a moonshine still Strangers ain’t come down from Rocky Top Reckon they never will….

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RV Security…Please

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , , , on July 23, 2022| 2 Comments »

A big topic on RV message boards is security. We have been in campgrounds all across the USA and have never encountered a problem. But if you read the message boards and FB groups for RV’s it would seem theft is rampant. A little deeper research shows that most cases of theft in the RV world happens when an RV is in storage at a storage facility. But I get the security conscious people, especially when one has been a victim of theft.

I could not help but notice the security measures of one fifth wheel camper that was in a site next to ours. They had a hitch lock on their RV just in case a thief would break in unhook the water, sewer, power and bring in the slides, pull in with a truck and steal the entire unit. A heck of a lot of work when there are plenty of easier targets than a fifth wheel.

But this guy was pretty serious he also used a dog chain to lock his surge protector to the power post. But the two E-bikes were simply leaning against the rv, the expensive Blackstone griddle with extra propane tanks were sitting outside on his picnic table. And lets not forget the high end satellite dish sitting on the tripod in front of his rv all unsecured.

The whole scene reminded me a friend in elementary school. He locked his bike to the bike rack but was so paranoid he wound the lock through the wheels, the frame, the chain, around a peddle and back around the wheels. When all was said and done he had done a great job in locking the bike to itself but neglected to actually lock the bike to the rack.

All of which brings us to a topic that is near and dear to all our hearts. Gun control! Okay this post has little to do with guns and more about the mentality of people. You see whenever the question pops up, “What does everyone do about theft at your campsite?” There is always some fool(s) who respond, “I carry a .38 which will stop anyone from stealing my stuff”.

Really? Do you really think carrying a gun is going to keep people from stealing your surge protector? Do you not think the would be thief is not going to drive around for awhile and figure out if you are at your campsite? Do you really think the theft is going to occur while you are at your site? Your precious gun is going to prove itself to be useless as such a theft occurs. Even if you are there. Are you really going to shoot somebody because they are trying to steal your $50.00 propane tank?

Guns are not the problem folks. Lack of common sense is the problem.

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Keepin’ On

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 17, 2022| 10 Comments »

A long time ago
Me, my Father-in-law, Denyce, Clary and Quinn

Every now and again a situation occurs which you never forget. 9/11 2001 is a perfect example. Ask any American what they were doing, where they were on that day and they can tell you. Me? I was at home searching the internet for work. I had the T.V. on in the background, I saw the news banner along the bottom and I honestly thought it was a disaster movie. Something seemed off, after a few minutes I turned up the volume, it wasn’t a movie. Moments later the phone rang, it was my wife.

I will never forget February 15, 1971, Not because on that historic day Alan Shepard walked on the moon but it was the first day we got out of school on time, if not a wee bit early. I hated school! I was 6yrs old and our grade 2 teacher would keep the entire class in detention if anyone broke her ‘rules’ somebody was bound to speak, chew gum, or look out a window. But on that day our teacher Ms Wilson wanted to watch Shepard leave the spacecraft and walk on the moon. My classmates and I celebrated our on time release by playing a round of CHAMP (a game played with a ball) in the school yard.

I don’t remember the exact day, but I was walking through Wegman’s grocery store. I was leaving the vegetable area when my phone rang. It was my sister, “Where are you? What are you doing?”
“I am in a grocery store, why?”
“Well, you will probably not forget this moment. Mom has cancer.”
My sister was right, I’ll never forget that call.

Ever since my Mother passed away it has been hard to write. My mother was my cheering section in everything I did. Always the first to comment or call after an entry on this blog.

Mom used to tell me I should have a pen and paper next to my bed so I could write down my dreams. I don’t bother because the only ones I remember are the ones which repeat. Taking the subway to places which don’t exist. Suddenly having an exam for a class I didn’t know I signed up for. Growing up we had kitchen chairs that spun. Every night I’d have the same dream I’d be sitting on the chair slowly spinning and moving forwards on a track, I’d see all kinds of things I can’t describe now but it was horrifying.

I never believed in ghosts, the after life, psychics, UFO’s or the like. As I get older I’m not so sure.

A week after my Mother passed I had a dream. I’ll call it a dream as it happened while I was sleeping. I was at a party, sitting alone in a kitchen on one of those black chairs that would slowly spin. This time it wasn’t spinning, (already a bonus). I don’t know who was there, I could not make out faces or hear conversations. Just shadows moving about and lots of murmuring in the background. So yeah, pretty much like every other party I’ve ever been too.

A figure sat down in the chair next to me. I couldn’t really make out a face but I knew it was my Mother. We sat quietly, almost looking into one another not a verbal word exchanged. After who knows how long, (but not too long) her face cleared up and she spoke, “Well, I think its time for me to go.” I replied, “I’m really going to miss you Mom.”

I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a dream. I remember every moment. It took a week before I could tell my wife. It has been two years and still hard to talk about. Three weeks after my Mother died, my father in law passed. Two weeks after that our cat Gumpdrop also passed.

November 4th 2021 our good boy Quinn passed away just a few days after we returned from our last trip. He enjoyed traveling, the entire trip I just hoped he would make it home. And he did. He slept in his bed he walked in his woods he was happy. And then he was gone. The loss was crushing.

A few days before we left on this trip on May 1st 2022, we said goodbye to our old cat Trouble. He had thyroid issues and cancer. He was a pain in the butt till the end and we loved him so. When he stopped being social and then stopped eating it was time. Two days later we said goodbye to Clary our Good Girl. She was diagnosed with bone cancer. We managed her pain as best we could. But when she had enough, she had enough. She stopped enjoying her walks, eventually her food and we couldn’t blame her and the loss was devastating.

Just a few days ago a good friend of ours, Valerie lost her battle with cancer.

To say its been a rough few years would be an understatement. We are still devastated, the tears still come, the losses still crushing.

Perhaps its time to turn the page?

Happy Memories

Clary about to lose her bone to Quinn

Valerie was integral to planning our wedding. On the actual day she grabbed a video camera and became our videographer. We have the absolute best wedding video ever! Many a time Val thought she turned off the camera but alas she had not. She would let the camera hang off her shoulder, pointing at the ground while it was still recording. We know what shoes everyone was wearing and we have plenty of butt shots, sound was on so we heard all the gossip, fortunately nothing too gossipy or negative. We get a huge laugh when she is getting something from the freezer suddenly stops and says, ‘Is this on? Has it been on the whole time?” And then proceeds to turn the camera upright so she is staring right into the lens.

When my family came in for the weekend for our wedding they were staying at a hotel in town. We made arrangements to meet downtown. We also made arrangements to meet Val in the same area. We did not tell them to look for one another. Imagine our surprise when we found my Mother and Father sitting on a bench with Val! They had never met, didn’t know they were supposed to meet. They had no idea there was a connection or that they were all waiting for us.

On first time visiting my father-in-law, (John) in California we were looking for a parking space to do some shopping. John was driving and there was this woman just meandering through the parking lot obviously lost in her own world. John in an exasperated sigh, “Oh you stupid cow, get out of the way” Denyce and I are started laughing hysterically as we realized that in some situations the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. We still get a good laugh at the memory.

Quinn and Gumdrop
Clary and Trouble
Trouble
Gumdrop

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Thinking About Things

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , , , , , on July 16, 2021| 4 Comments »

Recently we were re watching Tombstone. When somebody was itching for a gun fight Doc Holliday would say, in a very casual laid back way, “I’ll be your huckleberry”. Ominous music would play there would be a close up shot of his opponents gun hand, then a close up of doc’s eyes, and the would be ruffian would walk away. For days, possibly weeks, when anyone looks at me, including the dogs I’d say, ‘I’ll be your huckleberry’. Okay I won’t actually say it, but I’ll certainly think it even without understanding what it means. I know it’s a plant and Tom Sawyer’s friend Huckleberry Finn. But in Doc Holliday’s context I had no idea, more importantly I don’t care. But I’m thinking about it, and then thought about you. Yes you! What if you care? Don’t I owe you an explanation? No, I don’t owe you one, but because I’m a kind generous person I thought, out of the goodness of my heart I’d look it up and share my findings.

Turns out when Doctor Holliday is saying, “I’ll be your huckleberry’ what he means is, ‘I’m the man for the job’. Or, “you looking for trouble? I’ll be that trouble”.

So now you know. You are welcome.

So what else am I thinking about these days?

Driving down a two lane country highway (one direction each way) we came upon a sign which made me wonder what catastrophic event happened that this particular town decided it was necessary to use this particular wording, ‘Do not pass when opposing traffic is present’. Sure makes sense, some may say even logical. Is the usual, ‘pass with care’ to gentle? I guess so.

Public restrooms. I am 56 yrs old and have Crohns Disease I have been in my share of restrooms, yet I’ve never been able to rest in any of them. In fact they fill me with tension, apprehension and dread. We should come up with a better name.

We have noticed that in RV parks very little deters people from having a campfire. First time I noticed this I was sitting in our kitchen looking out the window just watching the pouring rain when I realized the people at the site next to us, (also in a large fifth wheel) were sitting outside in their lawn chairs in the rain. Not under their awnings, just sitting around a smoldering, smoking campfire letting the rain pour down on them. One or two were wrapped in a towel. I thought to myself, ‘freaks’. But I’ve seen it quite a few times now in different campgrounds. Why would you invest so much money, time and effort to be comfortable while camping and then sit in the rain? Could have saved a ton of money and bought a tarp and a rope and make a shelter between two trees.

Speaking of campfires. The woods are safe from me, I can have the best weather for fire the driest wood, plenty of paper and kindling and yes, lighter fluid. We even made our own fire starters. I use the tepee approach leaving plenty of gaps for air to get through and I can usually get the fire started and it lasts until the igniter fluid burns off. Takes a lot to keep it going. It is frustrating when I see people with blazing fires in a rainstorm.

Shouldn’t the word, ‘ambiguous’ have more than one meaning?

There is a car that has a safety feature that alerts when the driver’s eyes leave the road. The problem as I see it, my eyes are going to leave the road as I try to figure out why the car is making noises at me. It doesn’t sound like its a cycle that ends well.

Aspen Dental, they say they take walk ins, they don’t. If you miss your appointment by 15 minutes…forget about it and embrace the pain.

Now if you want to read more posts…I’ll be your huckleberry.

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Learned on the Road

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , , , , on June 14, 2021| 5 Comments »

We have been enjoying roaming the country in our 42’ fifth wheel for two seasons and heading into our third. Our Maiden Voyage in The Mothership was August of 2019, which was a month after we retired. We took three months and traveled from Pennsylvania to Southern California. In 2020 we planed to be on the road for 6 months but, you know, Covid. So we had a late start and did another 3 months. This year we plan on 5 months and we started Tuesday June 2 2021.

A few happy lesson’s I’ve learned or are reminded of while motoring across the country in THE MOTHERSHIP.

1. Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes you don’t know its happening until you are floundering around up to your neck in the brown stuff. Figure it out, deal with it and move along.

2. Mistakes happen. Some are painful, some are costly, some are both. At the end of the day they are accidents. Learn the lesson dump the guilt and keep on moving.

3. Life is both the journey and the destination. Don’t get so caught up in one you forget the other.

4. Laugh. It is okay to be upset, frustrated, angry even scared. But when you look at it in the rear view mirror. Laugh.

5. There are times when hitting the brakes gets you into more trouble, know when to tap.

6. Some roads are less traveled for a good reason and you do not have to take them.

7. The United States is really absolutely stunning.

8. Most of us want the same things out of life, we just find our own roads. Be tolerant of those traveling a different road.

9. Don’t be a know it all, it gets old fast.

11. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or offer to help others. There is a debate in the RV world about offering to help others without first being asked. For some reason straight out offering to help somebody is taken to be offensive. I don’t see how being polite and decent to fellow living creature can be taken as offensive.

12. Find the balance between butting into someone else’s business and being helpful.

13. Don’t overthink everything, it is not always complicated.

14. When things go south ask yourself, “but did it kill you?” If the answer is no you are okay, breathe. If it did well then you are checking out the dead center of town.

15. Just Breathe, laugh and hold your partners hand….take your time….well all the other crap I told you above.

16. Yup…..breathe or you will pass out get in a fiery crash and die (again with the death) so yeah…..breathe.

17. Okay done for now, I think I see someone who needs help!

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One Leg at a Time

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , , , , on February 2, 2021| 3 Comments »

Close to 40 years ago my father was hosting a David Roth magic lecture. David was one of the biggest names in magic you have probably never heard about. In the magic world he was, legen…wait for it…dary! Give the man four coins and a Mexican centavo and he would perform miracles right under your nose.

He was also the first big name performer I’ve ever seen lecture. (That I remember) I could not have been more than 10 or 12yrs old. Not only was I going to see David Roth but my father was hosting the lecture! I would get to meet and dine with the legend himself! This was a man who had been on Johnny Carson, David Letterman and a host of tv magic specials. The greats in magic called him their inspiration. I was expecting Hollywood style elite. He wrote the BIBLE of coin magic, ‘Expert Coin Magic’. David Roth did not disappoint. The lecture room at Ruby Foo’s Hotel was jam packed with magicians. Every eye focused at the banquet table in the front of the room where the master was at work.

After the lecture we dined at Montreals famous(also no longer in existence) THE Brown Derby. Now David was out of his element he was not performing and I was starting to see him for who he was. He was not a large man, he was rather meek. He blended into the world around him. He was so unassuming so…..normal. Dare I say it….even a little drab.

Years later, I was in New York City and my father took us to the famous FAO Schwartz. We walked up to the magic counter and my heart dropped into my chest. Standing there demonstrating some the most basic of magic tricks and novelty’s to the masses was none other than David Roth.

My superstar was just a regular Joe Schmo busting his hump selling toys in a toy store in order to pay the rent. My mothers words flashed through my mind like a bolt of lighting, “Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time”

But you know? David may not have cracked the main stream entertainment world yet he was still a superstar. He literally wrote THE book on coin magic. He inspired magicians around the world. When he passed away on January 14th, 2021 at the age of 68 the magic world mourned because we all knew a legend had passed, even if just one leg at a time.

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Wasting away in Corona Ville

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , , , , on August 28, 2020| 6 Comments »

To the future, I’m certain that by the time you read this you will have read in your history books all about the year 2020, the year of our Corona.  I hope by now it has become but a footnote in your history.  The problem with history books is that the people who write them often get it wrong.  In 2020 there is an element in United States that is trying to bury history by destroying all evidence of its existence on the premise that our history promotes hatred and racism.  Rather than stop and educate they would rather destroy.  These are the very people who have not learned from the past.  I hope you don’t suffer the same fate. 

One thing that most of us agree on is 2020 sucks pond water. Not the fun pond water, but the green slime pond water.   Corona, the Covid 19 pandemic escaped China and shut down the world, (to a degree). I am not a conspiracy theorist nor an expert on viruses or politics. but I am observant and have the ability to use reason.  This pandemic while serious was met with an un-proportionate amount fear due to both the ‘news’ and social media. We have dealt with worse and not only survived, but flourished as a world.   The survival rate of Covid 19 is 99% the news skims over that little fact,  the news gives daily updates on the number of cases as it rises each day, and the number of death and often fail to make the distinction between deaths with Covid 19 and deaths from Covid 19. 

I am not sure why the news only reports daily new cases and deaths of Covid 19 and not report on fatal car crashes, drug overdoses and autocorrect disasters.  All three of which are responsible individually, for more deaths than the virus.                                                                                                                 

Again, I am not trying to downplay the disease or its impact on society.  Heck we lost my father in law to the virus, if anything my wife and I are even more diligent in washing hands, wearing masks and social distancing. We must stand strong in our fight against it while keeping things in perspective. 

We practice social distancing, meaning we remain 6 feet apart making sex interesting. We must all wear face masks.  Nothing to fancy, some wear dust masks, others a bandana, every now and again you see someone in a surgical mask.  Others opt for the ole’ ‘wrap a sock’ around the face technique. One person was photographed in Walmart wearing scuba gear.  Masks are quickly becoming a fashion statement .  However a great many don’t understand the nature of the mask. Some don’t bother with the inclusion of the nose. Some cover their chin, while others leave the mask to hang off one ear, the other half just flapping in the wind.  I suppose this last technique is akin to those who insist on pulling their jeans up just past their knees.  Yes there is one in every crowd.

There is also confusion as to where and when to wear a mask and social distance. Some places you must self quarantine at home, other places you cannot gather in groups of 10 or more, others its 25.  The virus obviously has a moral compass. Its okay to gather in the hundreds of thousands if you are rioting or protesting for racial injustice. Again the rule of thumb is, ‘better to destroy than educate’ or for that matter take responsibility.  In those situations the virus will not spread.  Even our fearless leaders who impose the mask laws understand this.   They will stand on their soap box every day and tell us we will be punished if we don’t wear the mask.  We are irresponsible if we don’t social distance.  Yet these same leaders are seen mask-less arm in arm leading the protests of thousands en mass.  Yes Gov Wolf of Pennsylvania we all saw you.  Good thing the virus knows only to attack at small family gatherings.

Another refuge from the virus are the large box stores such as Lowes, Walmart, Best Buy.  These multi billion dollar industries can remain open so obviously perfectly safe.  The independent retailer?  Not so, in those business the virus is free to run rampant. This is a very smart Covid.  So those business must close their doors.  Sit down restaurants were closed for sometime.  They are open now and with the openings a new aspect of the virus arises.  One must wear a mask when entering the establishment and when being seated.  But once you are seated you are safe from the virus and can remove your mask.  It is no mystery as why we cannot seem to get a handle on this virus.  We are, stupid. 

There is no way I can describe what is going on in a few paragraphs or even an entire book.  What I will leave you with is a few things I have learned along the way. 

  1. Nobody owes you anything.  You want something?  Pull up your pants, brush your teeth, learn to communicate and work for it.  Sorry, your excuses don’t fly with the rest of us. 
  2. For the love of Pete, Wash your hands.
  3. Your life matters.  If you believe in this then show respect for others because their life matters just as much as yours. 
  4. When emptying a jar make sure you know where the mouth of the jar is aiming
  5. History happened.  You can’t erase it or change it, you may as well embrace it and learn. 
  6. What I learned from statues.  In the past people not only had a greenish tinge, they were huge!
  7. Laugh whenever you can and as much as you can.
  8. Always be aware of what is really important.
  9. Be kind
  10. “Not years enough, in life so short,   to learn a craft so long,**           whose effort’s hard, whose winning hurts, whose painful joys slides snakily off – by all this I mean Love, whose working wonderful astonishes my senses, So painful indeed, that when I think on it,I know not whether I float, or fall.  {Geoffrey Chaucer}

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One Regret

Posted in humour, Uncategorized, tagged , , , on May 18, 2016| 2 Comments »

The day was hot and overcast. I was sitting in the car outside the grocery store while my lovely wife Denyce ran in to grab a few items. Coming out of the grocery store I noticed a young man of about 18 yrs of age. What peeked my interest was his pants which were secured around his thighs. I was thankful he was wearing boxers. I could not look away it was like watching an accident about to happen. He gathered his four or five bags from the cart and started to walk to the parking lot he made it about 5 steps. I watched as he settled his bags around his feet and pulled up his pants with care, not all the way up just high enough to fit snuggly under his butt, he lifted his sunglasses off his nose, presumably to look for his car. Dropping his glasses back onto his nose he re-gathered his bags and started off in the direction he was looking. The young lad took about a dozen more steps. Stopped settled his bags around his feet and once again hitched up his pants, this time adjusting the belt making them tighter against his thighs. I guess it is okay for him to expose his crotch and butt but God forbid anyone sees his knees! As he gathered his bags and once again set out on his journey I am really regretting I didn’t honk my horn as he passed in front of the car.

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I May Be Odd, But So Is My Dog!

Posted in Lifes Observations, tagged , , , on January 25, 2011| 4 Comments »

               

I don’t eat blue food.

My dog begs and does tricks for a chunk of cheddar cheese every morning.  She won’t touch it at night because it is morning cheese.

                I like rainy days, but I hate being in the rain.

Sequoia will not tolerate anyone blowing on her, yet she gets in the car and all she wants to do is stick her face out the window nose to the wind.  As a responsible pet owner, I beg you only to do this at slow speeds, it is not funny when dogs get hit in the head with flying rocks.

                I don’t eat organ meat of any sort

We purchased some knuckle bones for Sequoia, she would not even lick at them until we covered them in BBQ sauce and put them on the grill.

                I won’t eat spaghetti in public.

Sequoia will go into Petco and beg for treats, (and get them from the staff) yet if we purchase any of those treats and bring them home she won’t eat them.  It does not matter that she loved them in the store because those are Petco treats.

                When I moved to Pennsylvania I brought along my cat Kaliban.  She passed away a few years ago but I think of her often.

If you say ‘Kaliban’ in Sequoia’s presence she throws her head back and howls I like to think that Sequoia is also missing Kaliban and is singing to her.

                I may be hairy

Sequoia is a hairy beast.

                I’m lazy and sedentary

Sequoia, very un-husky like is also quite sedentary.  She does not destroy the furniture; she has every toy we have ever given her.  Every morning just before I open her door, I say, quite loudly, “Release the Kraken” almost every morning she comes out stretching and yawning, makes it about two steps past her door and lays down again.

                While I spent most of my life demonstrating magic tricks, I don’t like to be the center of attention.

When Sequoia enters a room, she makes sure everyone knows she is in the building.

                I’m not overly fond of people.

Sequoia positively hates other dogs, they are the enemy!  However, every Friday in August at 6pm, Wiscoy has its annual Ice cream social for dogs. She spends a great deal of time growling at the other dogs, yet she loves the event.

                I don’t like ketchup

We like to call Sequoia our Sequoiamatic, give her a plate and she will clean it like new that is unless there is ketchup, she thinks it is evil.

                I’m possessive

 Sequoia doesn’t like other animals touching her stuff of course ‘her stuff’ is everything in her line of sight. 

               I’ve heard it said that pets and their owners rub off on one another. 

I believe this to be true, all my clothes are covered in Husky hair.

                I snore on occasion.

Sequoia is a snoring fool.

                 Everybody who comes in contact with Sequoia always tells me how beautiful she is.

Never has anybody told Sequoia how beautiful I am.

                 My wife tells me that sometimes I don’t listen.

If you don’t have food, Sequoia is not the best listener either.

                Sometimes Sequoia doesn’t know when to stop whining.

Sometimes I don’t know when to stop typing.

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Word Up.

Posted in humour, Lifes Observations, Small town life, tagged , , , , , on November 3, 2010| 3 Comments »

I enjoy words.  How words mean something.  How hard they are to take back.  The impression they make on people.  The impression you make on people using your words.  Often one hears the expression, ‘Actions speak louder than words’ the problem is there is usually more words than action (which says something in and of itself) but often times words are all a person has to judge by.

Here are some interesting words or expressions I have come across since moving to Central Pennsylvania.  I’m not saying that they are exclusive to Central Pa or even originated here.  I’m saying that this is where I’ve heard them.  Don’t judge my spelling I’m sounding them out so if you are reading them out loud the pronunciations should be correct.  My spell check is going to have a cow!

REDUP:

 A co-worker at the bank said to me, “I’ve got things to do, I really have to redup”

“Excuse me?” I said.

 “I’ve got things to do” She replied. 

“No, I understood that, it is the other part.”

“Redup?”

“That would be the part”

Redup equals get ready.

Yes, that day I hugged my Canadian citizenship.

LEFT:

Left, what is so odd about the word ‘left’?  Well, try this on for size;

“I caught a rabbit, but I left it go.”

GUYSES:

“Excuse me, I found this, does it belong to one of your guyses?”

BORROWED:

Nice normal word, usually.

“He didn’t have a drill, so I borrowed him mine.” 

Yes, I still cling to my Canadian citizenship, eh.

Heard this on the local news:

A tanker truck turned over, the newscaster looked into the camera and said: “Hazmat has been called because the roads are very slippy.”

Youins:

Texas has ya’ll but we have Youins.

Anyway I have a busy night. I have to left the dog out but I have to be careful because the driveway is awful slippy and I borrowed my flashlight to my neighbour.   I hope youins is enjoying my blog, but now I gotta go and redup.  Oh I found a set of keys the other day, does it belong to any of you guyses?

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