PanningForGold

Have you ever driven in Southern California? The Main Street, El Camino Rael runs from San Francisco to San Diego. 600.2 miles of a hellish nightmare. Six lanes, three in each direction. Two of these lanes appear and disappear without warning. u-turns are encouraged. Imagine, you are stopped at a red light, you can see the next red light a city block away, between you and that light is a short strip of road with a speed limit of 55mph. If you are not doing 55 by the time you cross the intersection you are currently sitting at, you become a moving hazard!

You know your right turn is coming up but not sure exactly where so you move into the right lane, You are moving at 60+ mph cars are all around you and your lane disappears. Whatever you do don’t use a turn signal. Turn signals tell the other drivers to bunch up and not let you merge. Luckily its okay if you fly past the street you want because now you get to play frogger and cross over to the left lane before the next intersection so you can ‘bang-a-uey’ into the three lanes of traffic coming at you and start the process all over again. There is of course one street far worse than El Camino Rael. The Freeway.

We decided to meet some friends for dinner. My father in law (John) who has been diagnosed with Dementia opted to join us. I am driving, John in the passenger seat, my wife is in the back being the navigator. With growing horror I notice signs for the entrance to the freeway. My wife pipes up;

Denyce: “Wait, we can take El Camino Rael all the way if you don’t want to take the freeway”

Me: “Point me in that direction”

Denyce: “I need a moment”

…we didn’t have a moment! In a moment we were going to be on the freeway! My father in law tells me to turn right at the next street, I ask my wife who is manning the GPS, who mutters, yes turn right”

Me: “Okay Denyce, now where?” I ask, the mood being a little tense.

Denyce “I don’t know yet, ask my dad”

Me: “Which way John?”

John: “How should I know? I have no idea where we are going.”

Me: “Then why did you tell me to turn right?”

John: “Because left was wrong”

(Silence)

Denyce: “We may be going the wrong way.”

Me: “You told me to go right.”

Denyce: “No I didn’t.”

Me: “Yes, you both told me to go right”

Denyce and John: “No I didn’t.”

Denyce: “El Camino Rael is in the other direction we should have turned left”

John: “Yes El Camino Rael is in the other direction, turn around.”

Me: “Okay but you told me to go right so I went right!”

John: “Yes but I did not know where we were going.”

Me: “So why did you tell me to go right?”

John: “Because I didn’t know where we were going.”

Finally I get turned around. I know I should drop the issue but I couldn’t.

Me: “Denyce, you and your dad told me to turn right.”

Denyce “No I didn’t!”

I start to worry maybe I’m the one with Dementia.

Me: “Yes, you told me to turn right!”

Denyce…a little softer now, “ Yes I did, but I wasn’t using my directional voice”