Posts Tagged ‘Movies’

We went to see the latest Star Trek movie.

We like to sit in the very last row of the theatre. We were the first to arrive and we took our usual seats. We watched as a family of five walked in and sat directly in front of us. Really? There was nobody else in the theatre! They could not sit at least one row in front of us. When dad and teenage daughter leaned back the back if his chair was touching my knees. My wife commented on how rude they were and we got up and re-located a few seats down.

The theatre never filled up.

As the end credits started to roll the five of them left. A few minutes later the two adults came back and were looking on the floor and between the seats, obviously they lost something. We also saw the kids looking threw the trash.

karma is such a wonderful bitch.

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I don’t understand people. I just don’t.
Oh an example you want? Okay. Recently we saw the movies The Avengers and Battleship. I didn’t really like the Avengers. However I really enjoyed Battleship. Obviously some people will like The Avengers better, no problem we like what we like. However I found the reason why people liked The Avengers over Battleships odd. The overwhelming consensus was that they didn’t like Battleship because it wasn’t believable or realistic. One person I spoke to who loved The Avengers wouldn’t even go to see Battleship because they heard that it wasn’t realistic.
Am I the only one who finds the flaw in this thinking? You can tell me if I’m wrong, but I found both movies unrealistic.
The Avengers is about a group of superhero’s battling a god in an effort to save mankind.
Battleship is about Aliens attacking earth and some Navy guys are battling the aliens to try and save mankind.
How is one of the movies more realistic than the other? I don’t understand.
You want another example? Okay.
Let us imagine you are walking across a parking lot and somebody backs out of a space, rather than paying attention to where they are driving they are paying attention to the conversation they are having on their cell phone. When told to hang up the phone and pay attention you are told ‘to mind your own f*****g business! How is it not your business when you are about to be run over?
The reality? My wife and I were walking across a parking lot and some lady backing out of a space almost ran us over because she was, of course, not looking where she was going, she was too busy talking on a cell phone. My wife tells her to hang up her phone and pay attention! The driver rolls down her window and yells at my wife to mind her own F***** business. My wife starts yelling back that it is everyone’s business when you are a hazard on the road, that when you risk the life of other people then it is everyones business.  Imagine our surprise that when my wife stopped yelling at the driver the whole parking lot started clapping and cheering and yelling “You tell her lady”. Yup my wife got a standing ovation in a parking lot by putting a stupid person in her place. The lady in the car turned beat red rolled up her windows put down her phone and got the heck out of dodge. It was a good day but I still don’t understand people.
You want yet another example? Okay one more.

I have to be a little delicate on this one because it concerns work. A technician requested from me a very specific piece of equipment. We simply did not have any. He tells me he needs one. I tell him that is wonderful and I’m sorry, but I don’t have one. He starts to tell me why he needs one. I interrupt him and explain that it really doesn’t matter why he needs one because I don’t have one regardless of the reason why he needs one. Obviously he didn’t understand the nature of the problem because he insisted on telling me why he needed one. After he got through his explanation he aseemed quite surprised that I still didn’t have one to give him.
Seriously, I don’t understand people.

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Okay so I decided to list ten of my favourite entertainment quotes:  Feel free to add some in the comments section.

1 “Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in Hell”  From the movie 300

2 “next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!”  Ghostbusters

3 “Release The Kraken!”  Clash of the Titans

4 “I could have had a pissed on carpet”  The Big Lebowski

5 “Fill your hand you son of a bitch”  True Grit.

6 “Timmy’s in the well”  Lassie

7 “Poop in his hand! Poop in his hand!”  G-Force

8 “I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.” High Fidelity

9 “Get your stinking paws off me you damned dirty ape”  Planet of the Apes

10 “Nobody puts baby in a corner” Dirty Dancing.

(bonus quote),  “My precious…”  Lord of the Rings.

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We always intend to go to a movie but we rarely actually get up and go.  Today was different because some friends of ours were going and asked us to join them.  Not only did we go, but we went whole hog, rather than sneak food into the theatre we opted to buy some popcorn and soda! (truth be told, we did sneek in some licorice). The best deal for us was two medium drinks and a medium popcorn for $12.00.  Yes I know it is a scam, they know It is a scam, and yet we couldn’t resist.  But wait! For an extra dollar you can upgrade to a large bag of popcorn and two large drinks.  Hey for an extra dollar what the heck?  The nice lady brought us our two pails of soda and a grocery bag of popcorn.  As I was paying, the food lady told us that the large came with free refills!  I paused mid transaction, I stood on my toes so I could look at her over the shopping bag of popcorn while my wife was trying to figure out how to carry the two pails of soda.  “Free refills?” I said, “Just how long is this movie anyway?”

Remember the days when once the credits started rolling the movie was over?  Not anymore, oh no!  Now it is a guessing game.  You can leave before the end of the credits and miss the very last scene, or you can roll the dice and stay.  Sometimes there is a last scene sometimes nothing.  I watch the credits, not so much because I really care about the last scene that may or may not be there, but it: A gives the aisle time to clear out. B For the price one pays to see a movie it is best to suck every last word out of it.  C. My knees already hurt from being cramped, my butt is numb from sitting in crappy seats so I’m in no rush to get up.  And finally, one of my favourite movies is ‘A Nights Tale’ One of the funniest parts of the movie happens after the credits. This time sitting through the credits paid off.  Not only do I know who all the key grips are, I also know who ordered the food for the cast and crew.  And low and behold there was a final scene. But could I enjoy that last scene?  Not really because I had consumed roughly a quarter of my pail of soda, my bladder saw the start of the credits and decided the movie was over. My bladder didn’t care about the possibility of another scene, didn’t care about the stupid price I paid for the soda, popcorn or the movie itself.  In the end I won, sure my eyballs were floating, sure I almost didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. But I sat through the full 20 minutes of credits for the last 30 seconds of the movie. Which only existed to set up for another movie.  But I won.  I got to go to the movies with my wife and caught up with some really good friends.

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