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Posts Tagged ‘laughter’

Just because this is a small town and the locals are all connected if not related  It really is a small world  doesn’t mean that it’s a tight-knit community.  Five years back we were having a campfire with some neighbours one of which works at the university.  I was working at the bank at the time and we started telling tales.  Turns out my neighbour worked in the same office as Joe the bursar who makes daily deposits at the bank.  Next day Joe walks into the bank and I mention that one of the people he shares an office with is my neighbour X.

Joe: “Oh” he says to me, “so you must live over on hill street” (location and names are changed to protect the guilty). 

Me:  “Yes, right next to x, in fact her father in law used to own both properties” 

Joe: “Really, you must be in the old Smith house, I grew up around there”

Me: “Yes”  my wife has always told me if you want to let a local know just where we live all you have to do is let them know that we are in the “Old Smith Place” so I was amused by the response.

Joe: “Oh so you are next to the Hatfields” 

 At this point my dear readers you have to know I am not always quickest horse on the track as Joe’s last name happens to be Hatfield.

Me: “oh yeah the entire clan lives on my street” and I started humming the theme song from deliverance ‘dueling banjo’s’  the middle part of the song

Joe: “You live near Jane?”

Me: “Yes Jane shares a property line with us, do you know her?” I innocently ask.

Joe “She is my grandmother”

Now I am seriously regretting my rendition of dueling banjo’s and I’m trying to find a way to dig my way out of the hole I’ve now found myself in, and this is not a little hole.  Joe is the bursar of the university, the largest business around, the reason the whole town exists, a town that for some reason has a bank on every corner and I just called his grandmother and most of his family redneck hillbillies. You would think at this point I’d know when to keep my mouth shut, but I haven’t  So I add, “I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather I didn’t know him well but he was always nice to us.”  His response? “what happened with my grandfather?”

“Uhm Joe, he died a year ago from lung cancer” 

“Really?” he says to me, “I don’t talk keep up with that side of the family if you haven’t noticed they are a little strange up there, see you tomorrow” and out the door he went leaving me scratching my head in wonder.

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My favourite teacher in high school Mrs B told us that every once in a while you have to ask yourself  “when you dig down and push all the crap out of the way, are you happy? ”  There is a difference between being happy, and being unhappy in your current circumstance.  If you are unhappy inside and you decide it is because of your spouse, so you kick your spouse out, you are still going to be unhappy.  It may be that in the road to happiness you may have to make those choices but if you don’t find a way to make changes within it is not going to matter what happens on the outside.  I was married once before and I certainly was not happy in the situation but I was still a happy person.  It got better once I was free but only because I was already in a good place on the inside.

As an aside, for me, I think the key is to let blame go, come to terms with whats going on take responsiblity for it and move on. 

I suffer from Crohn’s disease it is quite painful and affects everything I do, but it is a part of me now and I’m not sure what I would do without it.  I can say this because I have come to terms with Mr. Crohn and there is no other option.  When people find out and they know what it’s all about they always get the look and I get the “oh thats horrible what a dreadful disease” and yeah well it is.  But you know what else?  It’s all good in the hood, honestly there is a lot worse out there.  I could have Crohns and not be a happy person.  Not only would that be unbearable but I would be unbearable. (pause for the comments from the peanut gallery) 

You may be wondering what brings this on?  My parents recently celebrated their 51st Anniversary.  In this day and age, (can there be a day without an age?) that is a remarkable feat.  Or is it?  My folks have given me a lot I won’t speak for my siblings but I’m sure they would agree that we had/have it pretty darn good.  More than anything they have given me the ability to be happy.  To be able to laugh, laugh at life, laugh at myself, and yes to laugh at with others.  I look for the absurd and embrace it.  Mom, Dad don’t ever forget that I love you for it. 

So how the heck do they do it?  I think they can laugh with each other, not the surface laugh but the one inside, the laugh that counts.  I called them from Vancouver, they were in Montreal.  My mother picked up the phone and started to tell me a story, my father believed she was getting the story wrong and picked up the extension and started to correct her so they started arguing.  Finally I interrupted “Hey, I am going to hang up so you can argue on your own dime” The response? “You call this arguing,  we are not arguing, we’ll tell you when we are arguing”  they both  laughed.   Then there was the time when my Mother was trying to remember the name of a TV show she used to watch.  The conversation went like this:

Mom:  “Remember that show on TV?”   pregnant pause

Me:  “I think we will need a few more details”

Mom:  ” It was a western and it is not on TV anymore”

My brave wife chimes in: “Gunsmoke?”

Mom: “No not that old”

Me: “perhaps a few more details”

Mom “They wore cowboy hats, somebody got shot and they had horses”

Dad to us and my Mom, “She is talking about Dallas.”  There was no hesitation in his voice it wasn’t a question he just knew.  We laughed then, and we still laugh about it now.   I can write an encyclopedia of similar incidents and I am probably not aware of volumes more and through it all we still laughing.

So, is it really so amazing they are still together?

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