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How Do You Say Goodbye?

June 21, 2011 by Brian

Maya

I break for chipmunks and anything else that crosses my path.  We don’t automatically squish bugs when they enter our home, instead we try to capture them and set them free in the great outdoors.  Sometimes however, spiders and ants simply make bad life decisions.

I don’t like it when I see dead critters such as deer, bear, porcupine, groundhogs, possum, etc on the side of the road.  I was especially upset just recently by a suicidal chipmunk.  Both my wife and I have suddenly applied the brakes several times over the last few days to avoid running over this little guy, always in the same place, it seemed to have a fascination with a particular crack in the road.  His luck ran out, we noticed that somebody ran him over the other day.

In front of our house I discovered a bird nest complete with bird and eggs.  I approached the nest and momma bird flew to a nearby branch and yelled at me.  I walked away and avoided that area, but over the next few days I kept my eye on that nest.  I checked on the eggs when momma wasn’t around, carefully avoided the nest while she was sitting on the eggs.  Yesterday momma bird was suspiciously gone.  I checked the nest, the eggs were gone, no trace.  Something got them either another bird, possibly a snake, who knows?  It’s life in the wild.  But still I couldn’t help but be upset about the ordeal and in my own quiet way I mourned the loss. 

Of course it is different when it is a pet, even when it is not one of my own.

Maya was a great Husky who left us way too early.  Maya had a wonderful human family, human mother T and human sister M.  My wife and I consider ourselves extremely fortunate to have these two people in our lives, to have them as friends.  These are two of the nicest people I have ever met and it was Maya who brought us together.

Human mother T and sister M have had a really rough year, a really rough year.  And through it all they have managed to hold their heads high, handled themselves and their situation with grace, strength and dignity. 

My wife was talking with M on the phone a short while after Maya passed away.  M explained how they have lost pets before but with Maya it was different.  During all the upheaval in their lives Maya was always a constant, always there.  Maya would always crawl into bed and comfort M. 

For the longest time our dog Sequoia simply didn’t get along with other dogs.  Sequoia would growl and lunge and just be keyed up for a fight.  However Sequoia liked Maya the two became fast friends with only the occasional arguments.  Since then Sequoia has gotten along with a few other dogs but none I would call ‘friends’.

So how does one say goodbye?

In Maya’s short time she left her mark, she brought us together, she drove us all a little crazy with her constant yipping.  She made us laugh, she brought us comfort and she brought us friendship.

Maya though your time with us was short the paw print you left on our hearts is deep.  You will never be forgotten.  Rest in peace my friend.  Rest in peace.

Posted in Lifes Observations | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments »

My Love Hate Relationship With Google

June 15, 2011 by Brian

Why I Love Google!

Any good sales person will tell you that packaging sells. Any good performer will tell you presentation is everything.  In magic, for example, the only person who really worries or even cares about the method is the magician.  If the performance is there, the rest falls by the wayside.  Sure you need substance, knowhow and skill.  But if you can’t present that skill then it doesn’t really do a whole lot of good, much like having intelligence without wisdom.

Many moons ago when I was working in the bank a co-worker of mine had obviously watched a magician make a solid object penetrate another solid object.  This co-worker came up to me the next day and asked if it was indeed possible to accomplish such a feat.  I performed Perfect Pen. In which you stab a pen through a dollar bill and when you remove the pen from the bill there is no hole in the bill   I had him write his name on a dollar bill and then proceeded to take the pen and punch a hole through the bill leaving the pen penetrating part way through the bill.  When I removed the pen and handed him the unharmed bill the look on his face was priceless, but I wasn’t going to lie.  As I handed him his bill back, I told him no, it is not possible, but as long as I can convince you that I can, then what difference does it make?

I don’t claim to be very smart, but I do believe I can make some people believe I am much smarter than I am.  Google is my favorite weapon.  Google makes me look absolutely brilliant.   I love it when I’m at work and somebody asks me a question.  It can be something as simple as, “Who sings that song?”  Or “How many pounds are in 40 kilograms?”  Or how about, “When did Napoleon die?”  The question doesn’t matter I have (or at least Google has and therefore I have) the answers. 

At work we have so many different types of equipment and for some reason each piece of equipment has a different power cord, (even thought each piece of equipment does the same thing) For example we may carry 5 different types of modems, each one takes its own type of power cord, but we get power cords from different companies so even through two may be the same they look different, worse some look the same and are completely different.  It is a constant battle to figure out what goes with what.  Some will give you the power in amps and others in watts.   I was sitting at my desk and a tech poked his head into the office and asked me what the equivalent of 450 amps was to watts.   I told him I would be right there.  Once he left I quickly typed it into Google and came back and showed him what he needed.  Now the tech thinks I’m brilliant.  The downside of course is now the tech thinks I’m brilliant and comes to me with all his questions. 

Thanks Google.

Posted in Lifes Observations | Tagged , , | 1 Comment »

Going to the Movies

June 1, 2011 by Brian

We always intend to go to a movie but we rarely actually get up and go.  Today was different because some friends of ours were going and asked us to join them.  Not only did we go, but we went whole hog, rather than sneak food into the theatre we opted to buy some popcorn and soda! (truth be told, we did sneek in some licorice). The best deal for us was two medium drinks and a medium popcorn for $12.00.  Yes I know it is a scam, they know It is a scam, and yet we couldn’t resist.  But wait! For an extra dollar you can upgrade to a large bag of popcorn and two large drinks.  Hey for an extra dollar what the heck?  The nice lady brought us our two pails of soda and a grocery bag of popcorn.  As I was paying, the food lady told us that the large came with free refills!  I paused mid transaction, I stood on my toes so I could look at her over the shopping bag of popcorn while my wife was trying to figure out how to carry the two pails of soda.  “Free refills?” I said, “Just how long is this movie anyway?”

Remember the days when once the credits started rolling the movie was over?  Not anymore, oh no!  Now it is a guessing game.  You can leave before the end of the credits and miss the very last scene, or you can roll the dice and stay.  Sometimes there is a last scene sometimes nothing.  I watch the credits, not so much because I really care about the last scene that may or may not be there, but it: A gives the aisle time to clear out. B For the price one pays to see a movie it is best to suck every last word out of it.  C. My knees already hurt from being cramped, my butt is numb from sitting in crappy seats so I’m in no rush to get up.  And finally, one of my favourite movies is ‘A Nights Tale’ One of the funniest parts of the movie happens after the credits. This time sitting through the credits paid off.  Not only do I know who all the key grips are, I also know who ordered the food for the cast and crew.  And low and behold there was a final scene. But could I enjoy that last scene?  Not really because I had consumed roughly a quarter of my pail of soda, my bladder saw the start of the credits and decided the movie was over. My bladder didn’t care about the possibility of another scene, didn’t care about the stupid price I paid for the soda, popcorn or the movie itself.  In the end I won, sure my eyballs were floating, sure I almost didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. But I sat through the full 20 minutes of credits for the last 30 seconds of the movie. Which only existed to set up for another movie.  But I won.  I got to go to the movies with my wife and caught up with some really good friends.

Posted in Lifes Observations | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments »

It Will be Okay

May 26, 2011 by Brian

Don't Worry, It will be okay!

Currently there are three Snapple bottles sitting on my desk.  Two empty one almost full.   For those of you who don’t know Snapple puts ‘interesting’ facts on the underside of the lid.  My three caps read:

Fact #912 Meteorologists claim they’re right 85% of the time. Personally I’d like to see some independent study in order to back of the claim. 

Fact #905 The side of a hammer is called a cheek.  Good to know, however in the odd time (probably never) I need to refer to the side of a hammer I’ll probably just avoid the confusion and call it, ‘The side of a hammer’.

Fact #879 Most Koala bears sleep about 22 hours a day.  Just one more reason to love, idolize and emulate Koala bears.

In other strange news the ‘weird news’ section of the CDT or Centre Daily Times ran a story from the associated press about a Dairy Princess who is lactose intolerant.   I too am lactose intolerant, which is probably a benefit of suffering from Crohn’s disease.  All I have to say is Go Princess!  And when the time comes, I hope to be at her inauguration when she becomes Queen.   I wonder if she will marry a vegan who has to eat meat.

Posted in humour, Lifes Observations | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments »

A Conversation

May 23, 2011 by Brian

My folks usually come to visit during the summer with my sister and nephew in tow.   The other day I get an email informing me they will be visiting on the 24th and could I get a room for them at a hotel.  I’m assuming that since the 24th is a Friday they will be spending the weekend, meaning they would need a room for the 24th, 25th and 26th.   But I have found it is always good to get confirmation.  So I called home and had the following conversation. 

Me: So, you are coming up on the 24th.

Mom:  Yes

Me:  So you need a hotel for what dates exactly?

Mom:  We will be leaving on Monday.

                This is where the conversation took a turn.  Normally I would assume that would mean they are leaving State College on the Monday.  But it could also mean they are leaving Montreal on Monday.

Me:  Are you telling me you are leaving from Montreal on Monday and getting here on Friday? Or, are you telling me you are leaving State College on Monday for Montreal?

Mom: We are not making our usual stops this time we are only coming out to see you.

Me: Okay, what dates do you want me to reserve a room for?

Mom: Monday is St. Jean Baptist day which is a holiday in Quebec so we have an extra day.

Me:  Pulling my hair out in fist full’s why does this have to be so hard?

Mom:  It is not so hard.

Me: Okay then what days do I need to reserve a hotel room for.

Mom: It usually takes us a few days to get there, but since we are not stopping anywhere else it will only take us two days, but we may try to make it in one.

                I try another tactic:

Me:  Are you staying for 3 nights and four days or 2 nights and 3 days?

Mom: Let me talk to your father for a minute.  I hear mumbling in the background, my wife is sitting beside me trying not to laugh.

Mom:  We are going to be there 3 days.

Me: Friday, Saturday and Sunday?

Mom: Yes we will be leaving on Monday.

Me: I’m really glad we are having this conversation.

Mom: Why?

Me: I’m running out of things to post about on my blog.  But I’ve got something now! This is what I am going to do.  I am booking you in the hotel room for three nights, the 24th, 25th and the 26th.

Mom: Okay, sounds good. 

Unfortunately I still have one more question to ask.  I ask with great trepidation.

Me: Do I need to book one or two rooms?

Mom: The girl (my niece who usually stays home) is getting to old to leave behind on these trips.

Me: So she is bringing both my nephew and my niece? I say hopefully

Mom: No

Me:  So, one room or two?

Mom: Your sister just got back from Vegas.

Me: So…?

Mom: I think she is out of vacation time from work.

Me:  Okay, this is what I am doing.  I am reserving one room for the 24th, 25th and 26th of next month.

Mom:  Are you following the elections here in Canada?

NOTE:

After editing this several times I find I feel a little bad for my wife, who sometimes asks me why I can’t answer a simple question.

…and of course one has to wonder what the views are on the other end of the conversation.

Posted in humour, Lifes Observations | Tagged , , | 10 Comments »

It is all About the Blog!

May 16, 2011 by Brian

I have always wanted to write.  I realized there is a discipline in writing novels that I don’t have.  I am also dyslexic, in my younger days I went at least twice a week to the children’s hospital to get the issue ‘corrected’  while I can see my letters and numbers straight I don’t believe one ever becomes un-dyslexic so writing is that much more of a challenge, but of course not impossible.

 I’ve made many attempts to sit and write, but always, after a few pages the words fall flat, all the character’s sounded the same, they all sounded like me.  If I, the writer feel they are flat, why would anybody want to read them?  Despite everything there was/is always the desire, that belief that if only I could find the right medium, the right angle then I would be able to write.

In high school I wrote two papers that I was really proud of.  One was a letter to my mother.  We had a substitute teacher who had no control of the class. In my letter I wrote about the chaos that was unfolding around me.  My mother told me that in reading my words she felt like she was there with me. Of course that is what she is supposed to say, she is after all, my mother.  But a year or so later I heard her talking to a friend about that letter and how, while she was reading it she felt she was there with me.  Those comments have always stayed with me, fueling the fire to write.

In high school I had a very strict English teacher Mrs. George.  She was only really interested in the ‘A’ students.  Each year she would take a handful of students to Stratford-Upon-Avon, the birthplace of William Shakespeare.  Only the best of the best students got to go.  Mrs. George always had her nose in the air, her half glasses balanced on the tip of that nose. If you were one of her favorites you could do no wrong.  And how those ‘A’ students loved her.  If however you were part of the majority and simply didn’t measure up to her strict standards then she only spoke to you if she absolutely had too and then she would not talk to you, she would talk down to you.   I was nowhere close to an ‘A’ student and therefore I was just an annoying blip on her radar that she had to deal with every once in awhile because it was her job.

My big assignment for Mrs. George was to write a report on Steinbeck’s ‘The Grapes of Wrath’.  I knew there was no way I was going to be able to write an acceptable report for Ms. George. Knowing I was going to fail I decided to fail with style, I wrote the entire report in the vernacular of Tom Joad.  A few days later she handed us back our reports.  She walked up and down the aisle of desks and placed the reports on the respective desks, making comments on each one, both good and bad.  She stood in front of my desk for a moment and did not hand me back my report.  Instead she simply said, ‘see me after class’ I heard my friends snicker.  Sure most of them failed the paper.  I however, obviously failed in epic style.   She ended up telling me that she never had anyone try to write a report the way I did. She handed me my paper and there on the top was an ‘A+’ she congratulated me, she went as far to say that she never thought I would pass.  Mrs. George told me that by far it was the most entertaining report she had ever read. I have never forgotten those words despite the fact that the next day I was once again just an annoying blip on her radar.

Yet, I never understood that you can write something aside from a novel.  For me it was always a novel or nothing.  While the desire to write never went away I couldn’t seem to learn the lesson Mrs. George and my Mother was trying to communicate to me. 

Having reached my mid forties I took a look back at my life and realized I have experiences, experiences I can write about.  I can write about the world around me as it is happening just like that letter to my mother all those years ago.  I could write about my past experiences just as I wrote about the dust bowl through the eyes of Tom Joad.  Best of all I don’t have to write a book, I don’t even have to write short stories, character development is easy because I am the character.   The internet makes it possible to write as I feel when I feel, I don’t have to rely on anyone else to ‘get it out there’ I could blog!

Posted in Lifes Observations | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments »

My Kingdom for an Air Conditioner!

May 13, 2011 by Brian

The air conditioner in our car doesn’t work.  That is the good news.  The bad news is we can’t get it fixed at the moment because the air conditioner in our house isn’t working and that takes priority.  We have central air so we know it is going to be costly and we were not disappointed.  The first time it broke down it cost us around three hundred dollars to get it up and running. This time we got a quote of twelve hundred dollars.  It has been a day or so since we got the quote and my heart is almost back to its regular rhythm.  After doing a little research we found that it is in our best interest to bite the bullet spend a little more money and get a new one, a better one because the one the contractor originally put in is pretty much the bottom of the barrel.  This time we are smarter.  My beautiful wife got on the phone and has managed to set up some appointments with different companies and contractors to come out take a look and get an estimate.

But the above paragraph is not what this post is about.  This post is about small town living.  You may be asking yourself, “What does all this have to do with life in a small town?”  I am so glad you asked. 

The company I work for is moving and we have been setting up the new warehouse.   My wife was picking me up from the new location and we were exploring the area and we saw a company that deals with air conditioners.  We found out that they are strictly wholesale, but the owner gave us the name of a contractor.  In further discussion with him we found out this was the contractor who installed the air and heat in our new building at work.  And I know our facilities supervisor really liked his work.  So my wife added him to the list of people to talk too.

This contractor shares the last name of Norma, a woman I used to work with.  While Norma’s last name is very common in these parts I jokingly said to my wife that maybe they are cousins and we could get a discount of some sort.  My wife called him up and really liked this contractor.  He is related to one of our neighbours who he recently did some work for and he just installed a unit for somebody who lives just down the street from us.   So my wife asked him about Norma.  Not only are they cousins, Norma’s daughter just married this guys best friend.   

There is nothing like living in a small town. And who knows, perhaps my next entry will be from an air conditioned house.

Posted in Small town life | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments »

Crab Apple Tree

May 8, 2011 by Brian

This picture was taken a few years ago.  It is the crab apple tree in our front yard.  Over the last few years we have not gotten very many blooms. The branches grew out of control, rubbing against each other, rubbing against our roof and the side of the house.  Many were sagging dangerously low.   We also had some type of yew bushes growing around the house that we had become tired of mostly because they were unruly and caught many leaves in the fall.  We decided to yank them out and replace them with a few well behaved burning bushes.   We are getting old, and digging them out was not even in the equation.  We did try and hook them up to the riding mower and simply pull them out.  No go, the bushes were going to simply pull the mower into the earth rather than give up their space.

This winter we met some guys who were starting up a business.  In the winter they clear snow and in the summer they deal with trees and bushes.  During the really bad ice and snow we did have them clear out our driveway.  They did a great job.  As spring rolled around we asked them about removing the yew and triming the crab apple tree.  They agreed the Crab apple needed a desperate trimming.   We were in for a huge suprise when we got home.  After the shock I talked to the tree guy.  He told me that he was just going to trim the tree, but in his trimming he couldn’t find decent healthy wood.  In order to try and save the tree he took some drastic measures and kept going till he found healthy wood. He is pretty sure that next year we should see some improvement.  Amazingly this spring we are getting some blumes:

Crab Apple Tooth Pick

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What I Saw

April 28, 2011 by Brian

 
 
On Tuesdays I usually have to make the half hour trip to Lewistown for my job.  While not far, it is interesting as I have to cross over a place called 7 mountains.  In the fully loaded box truck you find yourself standing on the gas pedal all the way up the mountain and standing on the breaks while finding a new relationship with God all the way down.  In our fully loaded cargo van down isn’t so bad, but I do find myself standing on the gas pedal on the way up.

 Some of the interesting sites I’ve seen while making this trip:

  • Some Amish folk hooking up a horse team to pull some fallen trees of a farmer’s field.
  • An ornate buggy being pulled by a horse
  • Turkey vultures lazily circling overhead
  • Red Tailed Hawks playing in the thermals
  • A ground hog standing on its hind legs beside its ridiculously large hole and an even larger mound of earth
  • An iron horse, (see above)
  • A detour sign.

I’m not overly fond of detours especially since I have found that they make you get off your route but they don’t always give great directions on how to get back on track.   I slowed down and looked for the signs.  I didn’t find one sign that said: “Brian, to get back to work go that-a-way!” not one!  If you read my previous post about Garmi the Garmin you know I don’t have a great sense of direction.  But I’ve traveled this route many times before so I didn’t have Garmi turned on.  Garmi was safe in its case in my backpack on the seat beside me and I am way to lazy to pull over and plug Garmi in.  So I kept going.  I have theory about driving when I am lost.  I go straight.  There are two reasons for this.  1. If I have to backtrack I don’t have to figure out where I turned.  2. If I go straight long enough I will eventually circle the globe and end up back where I started, and with a little luck by that time the detour will no longer be there and I can continue on as normal.

  • A wasp, on the inside of the vehicle!

A few minutes into my journey I realized I was not alone in the van.  Crawling down the inside of my window was a wasp.  I am somewhat of a jumpy kind of fellow.  Even if I know you are about to touch me, I  will flinch when you do.  Spotting the wasp out of the corner of my eye almost caused me to have a heart attack. It could have been worse, it could have been a spider!  Slowly I lowered my window.  If you are my employer I was going 55 mph, for the rest of you I was doing about 63mph.  I gave the wasp a flick and the wind flung him to the passanger side window where he sat pouting.  I closed my window and we sat in silence.  I tried to talk to him, but all he did was pout.  I called him Ant. Being a wasp I am not sure he liked the name Ant, but he didn’t complain.  I looked back over to him but he was gone. 

Crap!

“Ant?”  No response. I wasn’t happy and he could be anywhere, in the back, under the dash, in my hair.  There was just no telling where he had was and we had just met so I couldn’t even guess as to where he would think to hide.  Then I saw him, on my arm just below my shoulder.  I don’t think it was a coincidence that at this same time I almost drove off the road.  But I didn’t, instead Ant and I got into an altercation.  I punched him in the face!  Ant flew back to the passenger side window and went back to pouting.  I felt a little bad about punching him in the face. 

“Hey Ant, you okay buddy?”  He seemed to be, but he was sulking.   I gave him some time alone with his thoughts and he seemed content to stay where he was.

“Listen Ant, we are about to go over Seven Mountains, it is a stressful enough ride when I’m on my own.  All I am asking is that you stay on your side of the van.” No response.  he still seemed to be pouting.  I couldn’t blame him after all I punched him in the face. “I understand you are upset, but look at this way.  At least you are not paying for gas!”  I think that made him to smile, but it was hard to tell. 

We were doing pretty good until I took the exit off the expressway into Lewistown.  Perhaps his bladder realized that we were almost at the end of the ride.  I know my bladder always does.  Anyway, Ant got antsy and starting to fly again.  “Hey Ant, your nose feeling better?  Don’t make me punch you again”  He flew slowly towards me, just kind of hovered over my steering wheel for a moment then back to ther rearview mirror and back to his perch along the passenger side window.  Finally we reached our destination and we both went on our way. 

I wonder, if And were writing this, what did he see?

Posted in Lifes Observations | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments »

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