Posts Tagged ‘blue food’

Okay I really don’t have a post for tonight. Sue me, so I figured I would give a glimpse of some things I’ve been working on:


I thought I had a friend. No I did have a friend. But he is a friend no more. Just like that in the blink of an eye, the friendship we had been building is just gone. I would like to think he is a good person who did a bad thing. But that would be a lie. I do manage to smile…when I remember that for certain crimes there is no statute of limitations….


At dinner tonight the waiter had a diamond in his tooth. The problem is he had really bad teeth, one was chipped, the other was green, another was crooked, and one had the diamond. Wouldn’t you think if you were going to the trouble to have a diamond put into your tooth, you would first have the rest fixed?…


When my wife and I finally adopted Sequoia I phoned my mother to tell her the news. After a long pause she said, “The problem is, they die.” Seven years later as I watch my dog getting older…


The question is, where will you be Ten years from now? Well, ten years ago I was in the process of moving from Vancouver Canada to Pennsylvania in the United States. Ten years before that I was in the process of moving from Montreal to Vancouver. Right now, on these anniversary’s I am happy to say that I am staying put. Ten years from now…


A few years ago my wife and I were watching a movie, outside there was a horrible commotion. It turned out to be a woodpecker trying to get its chick to leave the nest. While we never did see the fledgling fly we did manage to capture the following…


I don’t like olives! I don’t believe we were meant to eat coconuts. Seriously they hang from the very top of a tree with no branches and they are hard to open. Who even thought of eating them? I imagine the first person saw a monkey eating them and figured, ‘why not?” It would have been easier to eat the monkey…


Who knows, maybe one or two will actually see the printed page. In the mean time, thanks for reading.

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I have decided to jump on yet another band wagon.  The following are 12 random things about me you may not know, and may not wish to know.

1)      I don’t eat blue food!  Almost everyone knows this about me, what they may not know is that if the blue food happens to be the blue peanut butter M&M I will eat it.  Although I am not happy about it.

2)      I don’t like clowns, mimes or feet.  (That is three things, but I’ll count it as one seeing as it is a perfectly logical grouping).

3)      I cannot swim, although I am reasonably sure I am too stubborn to drown.

4)      I always thought that if I had too, I could get along with just about anybody, (even if I had to fake it) sadly, not long ago I was proven wrong. 

5)      I’m a non-practicing Jewish Canadian Magician.  (I don’t need to practice, I’m just that good).

6)      I am dyslexic and I spent a good part of my youth getting that taken care of. I worry that it may be coming bakc.

7)      This is a tough one to admit, I cry at least once per episode of “So You Think You Can Dance”

8)      I detest Jackie Paper for forgetting about Puff.  I don’t like any of Santa’s reindeers; they are a bunch of hypocritical, suck-up, ass-wipes.  They didn’t really love Rudolf. Notice how they only accepted him after Santa let him guide the sleigh that night. In my book that just isn’t good enough!

9)      While I am a team player, I don’t loose sight of the fact that there is a ‘me’ in ‘team’.

10)   I am always tired.

11)   You are going to piss me off, it is pretty much a fact of life.  Don’t worry I am sure you will get over it.

12)  I am sarcastic, stubborn and I’m going to take anything you say quite literally because I find that road to be much more fun. And no you don’t need to explain what you meant I know what you meant. I’m just having fun, my way!

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Things that annoy me.

  1. People who insist on showing me their blue tongues after they have eaten blue food.
  2. People who insist on telling all about their kids vomiting and pooping, (I’m really not a fan of the wee ones, they scare the heck out of me) and then get all and offended and bored looking when I tell them about my cats latest round of vomiting and pooping.
  3. Strollers in the grocery store.
  4. A certain husky when she rolls in turkey or deer crap. (sigh, but I love her anyway)
  5. Gum. I don’t like it, I don’t like it when people are eating it around me, and I really hate it when they spit it out on the pavement where it gets stepped on.
  6. The two hundred year old lady I got stuck behind yesterday when I was late for work, when I was finally able to pass her I looked over and she had a juice box in one hand, a banana in the other and was steering with her elbows. I hope she has hemorrhoids
  7. The gazillion handicap spaces in front of the local Lowes store, I’m all for handicapped parking don’t get me wrong. But at this particular store they are five deep on every isle. Never are they going to have that many handicapped people at one time entering a hardware store. Don’t get me started on a local grocery store where they have a million and two, (I counted) handy capped spaces, (although at a grocery store I can see why) but they also have spots ‘reserved’ for parents with young children. I have to be honest, I park in those spots.
  8. People in general.

Okay so why is this titled not really a blog post? Two reasons, one I promised myself I wouldn’t rant on my blog, and seeing as this is not an actual post it doesn’t count. The second reason is because today is the thirtieth of the month, and my stats are tied with last month so I just need one person to read this and I beat my last months stats, yes I am that pathetic when it comes to such things. And I did enjoy writing this.

Thanks for reading.

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