I have a few good posts in the making, but they are taking some time to write. So I wanted something quick and dirty for tonight’s post. I resorted to my old friend, ‘Plinky’. Plinky is a website that lists scenarios that you are supposed to write about. So, for tonight I chose:
When was the last time you lost your temper in public?
This took place over 25 years ago in Montreal Quebec. I was trying to get from the corner of Girouard Ave and Sherbrooke St to the corner of Van Horne and Victoria at around 2am.
By the time I left my friend’s house it was late and I didn’t want to take a bus and there was not a metro station close by. I could have walked home, it would have taken an hour or so. Stupidly I decided against it and hailed a cab. I told the cab driver that I wanted to go to the corner of Van Horne and Victoria. Understand, from where I was it was a twenty-minute drive max which included two turns, one left hand turn off of Sherbrooke and onto Decarie, and one right hand turn off of Decarie onto Van Horne:
“Hello I would like to go to the corner of Van Horne and Victoria please.”
“Yes sir, no problem”
“You know how to get there”
“Yes”
Off we went, we passed Decarie the first street we needed to turn on. Okay he was going to make the trip a little longer and continue down Sherbrooke St to Victoria and then simply drive down Victoria to Van Horne. Yes it would take a little longer, but it would also mean that he wouldn’t have to drive on Decarie which is really a busy autoroute. Yes it would also pad bill. I didn’t say anything because what he added to the bill was simply being subtracted from his tip. Then much to my horror he passed Victoria! Now I was confused but I had a thought, two thoughts actually. The first was, he was going to go out of his way and take me downtown and turn up Guy St and then effectivly back track over Mt. Royal or as we Montrealers like to call it, ‘the mountain’ and really pad the bill. My other thought was that he was lost. So asked him, “Excuse me do you know where we are going?”
“Yes Sir, Van Horne and Victoria”
“…and you know where that is?”
“Yes Sir”
Okay so he wasn’t lost, he was going to take me for a ride. No problem it was going to be a free ride for me because I wasn’t going to pay him a cent, so I thought to myself, drive on driver and learn a lesson about trying to screw a person. So we finally made it downtown Guy St was the next block. He didn’t turn! I was in shock, nothing made sense, he absolutely had to be lost. Now we were downtown there were plenty of Metro stations. By Metro, home was $1.25 and 10 minutes away. As we passed the Guy Metro station I had worked myself into a really bad mood.
“Stop” I told him.
“We are not there yet”
“Really, where the hell are you taking me”
“Van Horne and Victoria Sir.”
“How?”
“Excuse me?”
“How in the hell were you going to get me to Van Horne and Victoria?”
I got the blank stare in return and I said nothing. He looked at the meter, he then said okay, pay half and leave my cab. I just sat there.
“How were you going to get me to the corner of Van Horne and Victoria? Let me make it easy for you. We should have been there forty minutes ago. Two blocks after you picked me up you should have turned onto Decarie. You didn’t. I figured you were padding the ride or you didn’t want to drive on the autoroute, fine at that time you pretty much lost your tip but what the heck. (now I was starting to yell and I was getting louder with each word) Then you passed Victoria and you didn’t turn. I want to go to the corner of Van Horne and Victoria and you didn’t turn on Victoria? Fine, you were going to take me for a ride and take me all the way downtown and then double back over the mountain, at which point I already decided you were not getting a dime. Now we are passed any logical point of return and I am curious, how were you going to get me where I wanted to go?”
“Sir, why didn’t you tell me where to turn if you knew we should?”
“Because after we didn’t turn on Victoria I asked you if you knew where we were going and if you knew how to get there? You answered yes to both questions. NOW! How were you going to get me to where I wanted to go?”
“Sir, just give me half the fare and get out of my cab”
“Half the fair? Half. The. Fare! I’m not paying anything”
“Sir, I will call the police if you don’t pay”
“You know what, I will give you half the fare…provided you can tell me A) Where the corner of Van Horne and Victoria is and B) How you were intending to get me there?”
“Sir, just get out of my cab.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think you had a clue, why didn’t you say anything?”
“Get out of my cab”
Oh, I got out of the cab alright. I threw the door open so hard I heard the hinge crack on the door, then I slammed it closed so hard it bounced back open. As I entered the metro station I saw him get out of the cab to inspect the door. I heard him yelling at me that I was going to have to pay for the door. To this day I wonder how he was going to accomplish that. I didn’t live at the corner of Van Horne and Victoria, nor did he have my name. I guess he was going to make me pay the same way he was going to get me where I wanted to go, he wasn’t.
I so remember that night. Sorry I have tears in my eyes from the laughter. It also explains the ghost cab at the corner of Van Horne and Victoria every night at 2 am!
On thing though, aside from us and the residents of Paris. Not a lot of folks know that a Metro is a blue rubber wheeled underground tube of death by asphixiation!
er. . . . One thing though… not On thing though..
I felt MY blood pressure rising while reading this post! Idiots are everywhere!!
Yup, I am afraid we are outnumbered.
[…] Then Tom told my father to turn Right. This was totally the wrong directions. Images of a cab ride of long ago came to mind. We convinced my father to disobey Tom. Lucky my wife has a great […]
Great blog you have herre