Seeing as Bullying is once again the hot topic I thought I would share my bullying experience.
Brody was in grade seven, for the second time around. That in itself would not be bad, but he also spent two years in grade six. He also tried to jump out of the second floor library window. They should not have stopped him.
I had known about Brody for a year or two before we came face to face. Due to my dyslexia it was decided rather than repeating a grade I would take remedial classes to make up for the classes I had missed while dealing with the dyslexia. It was not a great idea, first, going to the remedial classes forced me to miss yet more classes. Secondly, Brody was taking remedial classes, and that is how I became a large blip on his radar.
It wasn’t too bad a first. I’d leave school and waiting for me at my bicycle would be Brody who would want to ‘borrow’ my bicycle.
“Brian, unlock your bike I need to borrow it”
“Brody I can’t let you borrow it I need to go home” At which point Brody would try to pick the lock and failing that he would threaten me, perhaps shove me around but eventually he would ‘give up’ and leave. I fell for that once, he really didn’t leave, he hid in the bushes around the block and at the last second he would jump out from behind the bushes and throw me and my bicycle to the ground. I soon learned that I could leave out the back door and go to my friend Roberts house for an hour or so, then go back to the school get my bike and head home. For awhile I simply stopped bringing my bike to school, Shane, (another friend) was Brody’s other target. Shane and I lived two houses apart, and we would walk about a mile out of our way so Brody could not follow us home.
Andrew and I had identical bikes, Brody did not know the difference and would lay in wait near the bike thinking it was mine. When he realized it was Andrew’s Brody would be so upset he would shove Andrew around. Andrew also stopped bringing his bike to school.
Often times I would walk home with Brahm. Brahm was rewarded for his friendship with me by getting a kick in the shin by Brody. Sorry Brahm, and thanks for sticking with me.
Eventually I told my mother about the situation. She had my brother, (who was in high school) talk with Brody. My brother spoke to the wrong guy. That guy told Brody and my life became even more difficult. I wish there was something I could type here that would help parents help their kids. But I have no answers. Thanks for trying mom, and Mike. But seriously the situation only got worse.
The odd thing about the situation is that Gail, Brody’s sister and I were pretty good friends, and my life may have been made easier if I had dissolved that friendship. But I was far to stubborn for that kind of nonsense. Gail and I had been in the same class and friends for three years before Brody started to target me, and until that time I didn’t even know they were brother and sister.
So, you may be wondering, how did it end? Before I answer that I want to point out that the way it ended will not work for everyone. In fact I can’t really recommend it as a solution, but sometimes…
Anyone who knows me knows I am not a sports guy. Sure I’ll watch the occasional hockey game on TV. I used to play pool and darts. Living next to Penn State you pretty much have to have at least a partial interest in football, or at least Penn State football. But if it all went away tomorrow, it wouldn’t bother me in the least.
At lunch and recess we used to play hit the bat. One person would be at bat and hit the ball, if you catch the ball, the batter places the bat on the ground and the person who caught the ball would roll the ball towards the bat, if you hit the bat you became the batter. (Naturally I played to lose seeing it wasn’t until high school when I could actually make a connection between the bat and the ball, it would have been a very long, dull game). My father who was a terrific ball player and played on some sort of league had purchased a new glove and allowed me to borrow his old one. In truth I think he gave me the glove, only I didn’t know it at the time, we will have to wait to see if he comments, I do know that later he did give me that glove, and I kept it for a very long time. There is a part of me that wishes I still had it.
So what does all this have to do with Brody? Be patient, I’m just waiting for the words to be typed.
Peter is at bat. I am trying to look like I want to catch the ball along with a bunch of other guys. Out of the corner of my eye I see Brody heading towards me.
“Brian! Brian I want to play, give my your glove” I knew if he got my glove, I would never get it back.
“I can’t it is my fathers, I can’t lend it out”
“Give me the glove now!” In my 45 years I have only been absolutely sure of three or four things in life. At that moment I knew one thing, Brody was not going to get that baseball glove. “Brody, please, I can’t.” At this point I was quickly scanning for a teacher, I knew this was not going well, a crowd of kids was starting to form. Peter stepped in to try to resolve the situation, “Brody…” Brody punched Peter in the face and Peter went down like a sack of potatoes. Remember, Brody was at least two years ahead of us.
“Give me the glove!”
“Brody, I can’t”
Brody came at me, and suddenly everything slowed down. It was very surreal, he raised his fists and kept coming at me full tilt. But for me it was like watching a movie in slow motion, I was aware of the crowd but in a very limited way. I also saw the flaw in Brody’s approach, as he came at me I ducked low, my shoulder caught him just below his ribs and he went up and over me and landed hard on his back behind me. As I turned he started to get up, his eyes bulging, his face red. He was saying things I couldn’t quite hear and he came at me again. The exact same way. Again I ducked down, again he flipped over me, again he landed on his back, again I turned and again he started to yell things at me, but I looked in his eyes and I knew he was done, I also knew he just couldn’t give up but I prayed he would stay down of course he didn’t. He almost made it to his feet but my knee got him in the chest, hard! Now Brody stayed down and he wasn’t yelling anymore, he was too busy gasping for breath.
I sat in the principals office. Mr. Russell just peered at me from over the top of his glasses. I don’t know how long we sat that way. I thought he had phoned my folks, I thought that is what we were waiting for. I wondered how much trouble I was in. Eventually in a very quiet calm voice Mr. Russell spoke to me. “Brian” he said, “I’m sorry, you are not in trouble, go back to class”.
I didn’t see Brody for a few months. In fact I never saw him again in school. One winter day I was walking home with Anna who lived not far from me and Brody appeared from behind a snow bank. Anna started to run but she was safe, Brody was after me. He tackled me to the ground yanked off my hat and started pulling my hair. “Now who is stronger?” I clasped my hands above my head and then thrust my fists forward when my fists hit his head he let go of my hair, I hit him again making contact with his chest. He flipped onto his side. I rolled him onto his back and landed with my knees in his chest. He was still lying there when Anna and I walked away.
A few weeks later Gail told me that Brody was going to another school and was no longer living at home. Spring eventually came. School ended for the summer and I never saw Gail or Brody again.
PanningForGold 
1). I don’t remember being such a great ball player. Really I was just OK.
2). Absolutely I gave you the glove. I may have been a little sorry because I never did like the new one, but there was no way I would take it back. It was yours, plain and simple.
3). This is the first time I’ve heard about Brody. That or my memory has failed me. However, I am not surprised at the way you handled it. You were always kind of quiet and laid back but when you reached the breaking point, world, watch out! Believe it or not, you got some of that from me. Ask Mom about the time that Steve, the superintendent of the building the Magic Shop is in, intimated that Mommy was lying.
Funny thing. I don’t remember any of it and I’m you mother! Shame on me!
You were a strong kid, though. You were not aggressive, but when you needed it, your strength came through. Ask the doctor who called us in to hold you down when you were two.
You needed a few stitches and we asked him if he would need out help. He looked at you and said, I can handle him. One minute later he came out for help.
Brian, I remember Brody. I don’t remember him bugging me. I am not sure if it was Brody or someone else. One day, one kid was picking on my brother and I got really pissed. One thing you never do is touch my brother specially at that age. I remember slamming the kid’s head into the brick wall for touching my brother. I remember my parents, the cops showing up and ambulance took the kid away. I don’t remember getting into trouble. I do remember Brody wanting to jump off the 3 floor window and everyone cheer on, jump. That would of been nice to see. He was an ass. I wonder how much time he spending in jail and who is his boyfriend. Was it Brody who stole my bicycle front tire when we were in class one day.
Do you remember tommy, he was slow and bruce picked on him and anyone that he can. Bruce was big and wanted everyone money. Bruce and I did go at one time, but he won. He was BIG & FAT, and I was not.
When Stephen was in West Hill High school, 3 kids were picking on stephen and he could not take them on at the same time. He was really pissed and did not know what to do. I told stephen, those day we were watching the God Father movies and based off that, I told stephen to take them out one by one. They were not always together. Actually, each one was in Stephen class. Not sure if you remember, I was heading to Lomb class on the main flour and when I open the door I got hit in the face. When I realized who hit me, I looked and it was stephen beating up one kid really badly, I mean bad. He took out each kid one by one each day. He was never bother again.
There are two ways of dealing with a bully, One standing up to them of which could go really good or bad. Or the other way is telling there parents. Kids today have one thing we did not have is texting people and the law. We had neither. Bullies can be arrested, we did not have that when we were kids.
It was not Brody who was picking on your brother, I almost remember that guys name. I don’t know who stole your front wheel. Was that the wheel that wound up in the tree? I remember Tommy, and while he was slow in most respects he was a wizard when it came to math. Bruce was a genuine ass. His house and Roberts house shared a back yard so I had a lot of dealings with him. He never bothered me however, possibly because I caught him playing with fire works. He threatened to beat me up if I told anyone. I told him if he beat me up I would tell his folks. It was an uneasy truce, but I knew I had to find a truce there because he really was a big guy and I never would have been able to take him either. Did you know he was incredibly wealthy? Not that it matters.
Do you remember Oliver in high school? He was got upset with me in the library. He was some sort of karate kid, or so he told me. He told me the only reason he didn’t beat me up was because you were friends with me, and he was afraid of you because you were a big guy and didn’t think he could take you on. Then you, my hero looked at Oliver and told him that I could look after myself and you wouldn’t fight my battles, (thanks buddy) Two days later he tried to beat me up and failed, I just shoved him into the bushes and he got so tangled up by the time he got free I was long gone. I saw him years later, he was working in an electonics store downtown and I purchased a stereo off of him, (I still have the stereo) I asked him why he tried to beat to beat me up. He just shrugged, we were kids, he was bored, and he thought he could win.
I knew Bruce had money, or his parents had the money. He was part of the gerber family. Remember when Bruce got the ninga motor bike and he crashed. Bruce had to fix his leg and the right side of his body. He was a dumb ass. No my tire was not in a tree, we both saw my front tire getting stolen from class. I don’t remember Oliver, I just looked in the high school book. I remember the face, but I don’t remember dealing with him. Did he like to wear karate shoes, little back shoes. I knew you could take care of Mr. Karate. I wonder how well are class did in the outside world. I think we did good.
I do agree, tommy was slow. But math, he was good. Nice guy, I wonder how he turned out. I am happy high school and hampstead is gone and over a long time ago. Could not do that again.
Do you remember when CIL paint company caught on fire. That happen twice. I think I was with Richard at the time, and he and I were accused of starting the fire by some old lady. I was in school when it happen. Cops still asked Richard and myself questions. The funny thing, the same cops started to talk to me very time we saw each other. One time I was walking home with Stephen and they saw me. Cops turned on the lights, blocked me and stephen, placed me on the car and hand cuff me and drove me home. I was only 5 houses away from home. Freaked out stephen. They liked to play those games. I got know them.
Wow, I did not know all of that.
Sounds to me like you handled it in a sane and strong way.
I guess so many of us were bullied – I too have stories, mostly I thought because I’m gay, many probably because some kids are just bullies. I am glad with all this new attention on bullying, though I worry may be just naive of me to think things will change. We will see!
Good post.
You don’t remember him kicking you on the path that lead from your house to hampstead park? Man that sticks out in my memory. I didn’t know you were gay, never though about it. What is funny is that if memory servers you were the first in our little group to have a girlfriend, her name was Nancy, the only reason I remember is because I was a little jealous.
I don’t think I ever knew this story either. I certainly didn’t know Daddy played ball. Or had a glove. Or shared his love of sports with anyone. I’ll blame it on the age difference. I can’t imagine I was a self-absorbed back then as I am now. But maybe I was. Who knows?
I read both my children (2 and 4) stories about bullying and make sure to teach them that:
1. Bullies pick on people who don’t like themselves very much. Best defense is to have positive self-esteem.
2. Always tell us if you’re being bullied.
3. If someone hits you, hit back. You only have to do it once, and not even that hard. I never want the other kids to think, “Oh, so we can hit THAT kid without repercussion.”
My son asked if he’d get a time out from his teacher for hitting back. I said he might, but it’s better to spend 5 minutes in the corner than years hiding from bullies. I also told him NEVER to hit first.