One day, knowing nothing about magic, Tony wandered into the magic shop in BC and simply never left. Even though Tony and I don’t communicate much anymore I still consider him one of my best friends. I have noticed that I pick on my other best (and oldest friend) Richard quite a bit so I think it is only fair to have a pick on Tony post.
I’ve never figured out if Tony was/is crazy, we are all crazy in a way, but if anyone marches to the beat of his own drummer it would be Tony. Speaking of drummers, while not a drummer Tony is one of the most talented people I know, he is a great magician, musician, storyteller, cook and as far as I can tell Husband and father. Tony, his wife Penney and I were in North Vancouver and he purchased an odd-looking native flute. In a day he was playing it beautifully. He told me they were easy to play so I went out and purchased one with an ‘Easy Beginner Guide’ my neighbor thought I was skinning my cat alive. Tony also plays a killer guitar and keyboards. I know that when it comes to entertainment Tony is just one of those people who can do it all.
Okay, so far this doesn’t sound like a pick on Tony post, but alas, now the tide turns.
Tony Time:
I quickly realized that Tony does not go by the regulation time zones. He goes by what his wife dubbed, ‘Tony Time’ Tony and his wife lived about half a block from my house. If I stood just right and angled my head out of my window I could see the apartment building they lived in. At most it was a four-minute walk. Tony would call on a Sunday so the three of us could get together.
“Hey Brian interested in going to the stinky red barn today?” Stinky red barn is a pretty cool flea market in BC.
“Sure”
“Penney is just finishing up a few things, how about we meet at your apartment in about half an hour”
“Sure”
An hour and a half later they would be ringing my bell. I learned very quickly that this was not the fault of Penney, it was all Tony. Penney, who I may be throwing under the bus at this point told me the best thing to do was make plans, decide on a time, but have Tony call me just before they leave the house and in this way I knew I still had about 20 minutes after the final call.
Bad Road Conditions:
You know how when the road conditions are slippery you are not supposed to jam on your brakes? In fact you are supposed to ease off the gas and leave the brakes alone. Tony’s in-laws live at the top of a steep hill. One thanksgiving night in snowy November we went to his in-laws to celebrate. On the way home the weather conditions were pretty bad. Tony was a little worried about the steep roads that led to the highway so we drove around for 40 minutes until he found a road that he was willing to chance, (they were all fine by the way). It was a very slow painful ride back home because every half mile or so Tony would suddenly jam on the breaks to make sure the car would not slide. While bracing myself against the seat to avoid sudden neck strain I tried to explain the principle behind not jamming on your breaks. Do you remember ‘Tony Time’? It appears there is also such a thing called ‘Tony Hearing’.
Then there was the Tony stapled his own fingers in the magic shop, oh wait a second, that was Penney! Never mind.
The Skytrain:
Vancouver has a wonderful mass transit system. The Skytrain is like a monorail only there are two rails which make it a train. Anyway, it runs over the city with stops every few blocks . The three of us were going to the New Westminster Quay where it is easier, faster and cheaper to use the Skytrain. Tony got a little ahead of Penney and I, and I noticed he was checking the structure of the train station. Penney informed me that Tony was a little nervous about the integrity of the system, as in the foundation of the stations may be weak so Tony, although not a structural engineer took it upon himself to inspect the stations to make sure they were safe before we boarded. It also appears that you can’t jump on any old section of the skytrain either. You have to sit in the middle car. If you sit near the front and there is a head on collision you are dead meat. I should point out that there are two sets of tracks, they run side by side and they go in opposite directions. But it could happen. You can’t sit in the last car because if you get rear-ended. Dead meat! And if you sit in a car towards the front or the back and the front or back car get hit and are rolled off the tracks then the momentum will take those cars as well. By process of elimination it had to be the middle car. It all makes perfect sense. Of course in the 10 years I lived in BC there was never a Skytrain crash. But it could happen.
Nap Time:
Tony likes to pretend he is asleep when he is driving, mouth open, snoring, one eye closed, perhaps a little drool running down his chin. Whole nine yards, I think he once gave his poor mother a heart attack, not to mention other drivers.
Tony has a rather insane alter ego named Billy. I’m not sure how many people know about Billy, but between you and me, I think Tony may be Billy’s alter ego. You just never know.
PanningForGold 