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Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

Thirty

Regular readers know that every ten posts I write an introspective into my writing. 

So what have I learned?  Most glaring are the phrases ending in ‘then’  such as in if then and more then.  I almost always type it that way, lucky for me the nifty WordPress editor saves me and kindly suggests that I use ‘more than’.  According to the WordPress editor I am also guilty of using a ‘passive voice’ for using phrases such as ‘it seems’  too bad I like that kind of phrase.  It seems that I am also guilty of using something called ‘hidden verbs’ At first I did worry and tried to correct the hidden verb problem, (not that I totally understand it) but fear not, I got over my worry, now I just re-read the sentence to make sure it makes sense.  I’ve also been accused by the WordPress editor of making things complex. I find this complex issue both subjective and more importantly insulting to you the reader. For example if I use the term final destination the WordPress editor will highlight the phrase and tell me the word destination is too complex and I should replace destination with place.  I understand the theory  I just happen to (passive voice) disagree with the theory (complex, replace theory with reason).  Don’t get me wrong, I am lousy with punctuation and sentence structure and I strive to get better so I am glad for the help,  but I am not about to change my writing style (which I happen to like) to appease (complex, change to please) the language gods.  I will of course make corrections if I think it will help, otherwise I will use my favourite feature the Ignore Suggestion button.

I read an article by Stephen King.  apparently (submissive voice) he used to get upset when critics told him he couldn’t put a proper sentence together.  He would get past it by looking at his bank book and suddenly what the critics had to say didn’t carry much validity (complex?) his fans didn’t care, and lets face it his fans pay the bills.  Nobody is paying me to write this blog, but we did enjoy a free meal at Denny’s courtesy of the management (thank you) because of what I said on my previous (complex replace with earlier) post.

Subject matter is becoming an issue.  I have been trying (complex, replace with have tried) to stick to a few specific themes, the problem is that I don’t want all my posts to sound the same. The challenge becomes expanding my subject matter but manipulating it so it fits.  I’m not sure why I find this a daunting task but I do.  I’ve also been working on ways to expand my readership.  I’m working on a few ideas and I’ll let you know how it all works out.  Perhaps in my 40th blog. 

Thanks for reading.

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French class in high school lasted an hour a day for our entire youth, we were forced to do two things,  conjugate every verb on the planet and read the book,  “La Dynamite”.   ‘La Dynamite’ was about these guys who had to transport TNT over an old logging road to get to the job site.  The previous drivers died on the way because the truck hit a pothole and the TNT exploded.   

One fall day my wife and I found ourselves driving home with two pet carriers full of  skunks in our back seat.   Yes we were holding our breath for fear of setting one or all of them off.    Sparrow the wild life rehabilitator promised they would not spray.  I wasn’t sure how she could make such a promise, after all they are wild skunks, but she promised and we trusted.  Sparrow failed to mention, (and we didn’t know enough to ask) that skunks stink even when they don’t spray.  

With the windows open and the air cranked, we cringed at every stop light, turn and bump on the road.  As the skunks chattered away in the back seat I thought about those two guys in ‘La Dynamite’ and really, they were idiots! Why the heck didn’t they just keep the blasting caps separated from the TNT?  

 

  

 

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