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Archive for March, 2012

You know what I love about ancient history?  It was all one big blood bath!  Take Haman for example.  What you have never heard of Haman?  Let me enlighten you.  Haman, otherwise known as the Evil Haman was a descendant of Agag, funny name, but you deal with what life gives you. Agag was the King of Amalekites, (see despite his unfortunate name he became a king).  The Amalekites were the descendants of the Almalek and if you want to know who that is, look it up yourself because I’m getting lost in all the links I have to go through to tell this story.  However I wouldn’t waste your time looking that up because the Amalekites, (spoiler alert) were wiped out by King Saul and David as directed by God.  Back in 15BC when all this was taking place when God said jump well you had just better jump mister.  Obviously they were not all killed because we still had the problem of the Evil one who now served Artaxerxes II the King of Persia.  Looking at Artaxesrxes name I can only assume it was his grandfather who you can blame for the creation of taxes.  But that is just a hunch.

Pay attention because now we are back on track and getting back to the point of all this.  Sometimes I have to feel bad for you readers because at this point in the tale you have no idea what this post is really about.  Have a little faith and keep reading, it will all become clear.

Haman didn’t like the Jews, probably because Dave and Saul killed off most of his ancestors. I’m willing to bet that Haman didn’t take into account that his ancestors probably tried to kill off the Jews, again an assumption.  I’m not clicking on yet another link to unwind the entire tale.  So Haman plotted to kill all the Jews in Persia.  He tried to convince the King of Persia, (Artaxes) to start off by killing Mordecai.  Haman decided on Mordecai for two reasons, first he drew ‘lots’ and the name he pulled was Mordecai. Mordecai refused to postulate himself before the King making him a seemingly easier target to convince the King to have Mordecai killed.  But as we soon learn, Haman the Evil had yet another little known title which is ‘Haman the Stupid’

Earlier, Mordecai uncovered a plot to assassinate King Artaxes and because of Mordecai’s vigilance the plot was foiled and Mordecai’s service to the king was noted in the King’s royal ledger.

Is anyone out there still reading?  I hope so it is about to get interesting. Mordecai was a super nice guy.  He was so nice that when his cousin Esther became an orphan Mordecai adopted her and raised her as his own daughter.  Years later Artaxes had one of his wives exiled and took another.  This new wife was Esther!  Yes a Jew, yes the same Jew that Mordecai raised as his own daughter.

Mordy learned of the plot to assassinate the Jews of Persia and talked to Queen Esther.  Queen Esther armed the Jews of Persian cities to fight against Haman’s armies and the Jews, as usual were winning the battle. At this point King Artaxes rescinded the order to kill the Jews of the empire. Mordecai quickly became respected member of the court and Haman ended up being executed in the gallows that were built for the execution of Mordecai. 

In memory the Jews celebrate the narrow escape and celebrate the feast of ‘Lots’ because of the Lots that Haman drew when deciding which of the Elder Jews of the empire to assassinate first. 

The Hebrew word for ‘lots’ is Purim and March 7th was Purim so a late happy Purim to you all.

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Last year I wrote a post about Passover, it was one of my more successful posts. Click here if you missed it, well worth the read in my opinion. A somewhat humours but accurate take on one of our more poplular holidays. 

The other day I was in the grocery store and came across this little gem and it occurs to me that life, despite the fact that technology is leaving me in the dust, is getting a lot easier.

Kosher for Passover cotton candy.  Perhaps I should think about celebrating the holiday again.

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We purchased a new living room sofa, and this badboy is huge, plus with the touch of a button each section reclines. There is a battery backup in the case of a black out but we have yet to put a battery in.  Why?  Because it takes two 9 volt batteries, they are 7.99 and we are cheap.  Besides we live in the woods in the middle of almost nowhere what are the chances of a power failure?

So the other day we did not have a power failure and we still don’t have batteries in the recliner because we are still cheap, but I did learn how we would get our lazy butts out of the chair if there was an outage.

My wife was sitting beside me on her side playing a video game on the computer, half asleep with three of the cats piled on top of her.  I’m on my side, playing a computer game on the ole’ Xbox, half asleep with two cats zoned out on my lap.   The dog is outside on her lunge line.  Suddenly I hear the sound of dogs growling.  Sequoia is more than ready to take on any dog that crosses her path.  I didn’t even think.  Pressing the button on the chair would take too much time.  I tossed the Xbox controller and just leaped off the end of the recliner which remained in its reclined position, my wife was hot on my heels. So yes it is possible to leave the electric recliners without power or a battery backup.

As for the dogs?

When I stepped outside Sequoia was nose to nose with a German shepherd and no, not a guy with a heavy accent herding sheep but the four legged dog type.  I’ve got to give the shepherd credit, he stayed just out of reach of Sequoia they could touch noses but that was it.  The dog took one look at me and headed for home. No blood, no wounds, no fuss no muss.  Just like that it was over.

What is the moral of the story?  We don’t need no stinkin’ batteries.

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